Monthly Archives: July 2010

July 18 Recurring Dreams

Writer’s Book of Days Prompt: Write about a recurring dream

where do they come from
these dreams of running
something cunning
is there a meaning
a missing something
throw the bones
read the runes
the calendar of days
of trees of magics
older than we are
older than the beetles
crawling in the graves
that wait for me
what saves me
is this one thing
that grace will give
another chance
a dance
for us no thought
for dreams and hopes
fear of what I wish
I knew I run and run
and feel the something
over my shoulder
on my heels the wheels
of my mind frustrate me
I know me not and fear
that if I did I would
find me boring
if I were more able
more social more stable
more willing to try
to buy into the ways
of you and yours
would you accept
I’ve kept it light
you never liked it
deep too sad
you said let’s drink
and laugh and time
will pass
but something stays
behind and buried
cannot breathe
this withered atmosphere
a shriveled tear
left on the table
traded for a smile


July 17 Jae and Aedan

Writer’s Book of Days prompt: in a state of disarray

Writers Island prompt#12: Reunion

Aedan looked at her standing there wrapped in a blanket, holding a knife, fierce and afraid but facing him down anyway.  He stood still with his arms at his sides.  He didn’t want to give her any more reason to fear him.  He knew he had handled things badly.

He sat down.  It was all he could think to do.

“Wait.  You remember?  You were there?” Her hand tightened on the knife.  “Was it you?  Did you bite me?”

Aedan frowned. “No it wasn’t me!  Think back.  Don’t you remember the wolves?”

Jae thought about that night.  She remembered a large gray wolf.  Aedan was a dark chestnut in his wolf form.  She felt some of the tension leave her muscles.  She thought again about the wolf.  She always thought her dad made him leave but she remembered there being more than one wolf.  Her da couldn’t have beaten them all off.  She was so scared and it hurt and everything seemed to happen so fast.  She remembered another wolf snarling and…”It was you!  You attacked the grey wolf! You made him stop biting me.”

“That was Liam.  He was a new wolf.  Very strong but not a lot of self control.  He moved too quickly for me to stop him completely.  I hoped you wouldn’t change, but I was too late.”

Jae shrugged. “So why didn’t I meet Liam when I was with the pack?”

Aedan looked towards the woods.  “Liam is gone.”

Jae watched him. “So why are you here?”

Aedan looked back at Jae. “I wanted to meet you in human form.  Simon sent a message telling me you were here.”

Jae sat down, still keeping her distance. “Simon.  I should have known.”

Aedan smiled. “He meant no harm.”

Jae was quiet for a moment.  “Your eyes are the same.”

Aedan stared at her. “So are yours.”

For More Wolf Moon Stories click here


Wolf Girl Blues Part Deux

Sometime in the night, Jae finally fell asleep. She awoke, cold and stiff, lying in the corner on the floor behind the bed. She had dragged the cover off and wrapped it around herself but there was no fire and the chill from the floor had worked it’s way into her bones.

There was a knock on the door and Jae jumped and shrank back, remembered terror from the night before washing over her.  She stayed silent.  Another knock, this time followed by a young man’s voice.  “Jae?  Are you in there?”

Jae frowned.  She didn’t recognize the voice and yet there was something familiar, tickling the back of her mind.  She stared at the door, hoping whoever it was would just go away and leave her alone.

“Jae, I know you can hear me.  I’m going away for now but I will be back.  We need to talk.”

The sound of footsteps leaving the porch and then nothing.  Jae breathed a sigh of relief.  She quietly got up and pulled the blanket tighter around her.  Quietly walking to the window, she peered through a crack in the shutter.  Nothing. The wolf inside sensed nothing, but she didn’t understand it enough to rely on it in her human form.  So much to learn, to figure out.

Jae walked around the the house where she had spent time healing. she had felt safe here then.  Now she wasn’t sure of anything.  She folded the blanket and looked around for something to eat.  There was a chunk of crusty bread wrapped on the table and a jug of water.  Simon always seemed to know what was needed.  The bread was tender on the inside and flavored with herbs that Simon grew.  She hadn’t realized how hungry she was until she started eating.

Sleep, food, important things done.  She was feeling a little better.  Unfortunately she wasn’t smelling better.  Living with wolves left a lot to be desired in terms of human grooming.  Jae cleaned up the crumbs and looked out the window.  Still no one in sight.  “Time to go outside.  Stop being a baby!”  She told herself as she picked up a thin blanket and a knife.  Great. Now she was talking to herself.  She sighed and stepped outside.  She walked to the stream and stripping off her clothing, she rinsed out her garments and hung them on the bushes to dry in the sun.  Jae stepped into the cool water and splashed it on herself.  She slipped down into the deeper water and rinsed her hair. After soaking for a bit she walked back to the shallow edge. She looked down at her legs at the scars from the bites.  They had healed well, thanks to Simon.  They seemed like such a little thing.  They had changed everything.

“I remember when you got those.”

Jae whipped around in shock.  She hadn’t heard anyone come up.  She stepped out and grabbed the blanket, wrapping it around herself.  The wolf change had gotten rid of any self consciousness but she was alone and in human form she felt defenseless.  Almost.  She picked up the knife.

“Who are you and what do you want?”

“Jae, you know who I am.”

Jae felt her stomach tighten.  She could feel her wolf very near the surface.  He was familiar.  “Aeden?”

To read more of Wolf Moon click here

Simple

Word of the day: folderol

Poets United prompt: diamond

all the folderol and fluff
nothing but a bunch of stuff
not even diamonds in the rough

when troubles come and come they do
importance changes nothing new
and stuff’s the first to go it’s true

how intentional life would be if we
could keep that focused way to see
and furnish heart rooms simply

July 16 Broken Morning

Writers Book of Days prompt – an hour before sunrise

you’ve heard it said
that morning has broken
as though it were pieces
shattered and tattered
with some that are missing
the holes left are hissing
and starshine is leaking
the moon peaking out
through cerulean skies
is confusing enough
can you fix it it’s tough
to have night showing
through when dreaming is due
but she said that she could not
or would not I think but I
smiled as the sunset and sunrise
both pink blended into each other
and clouds hid the mistakes
til thunder could shake
and the lightening illuminate
all of the problems the rain
would erase and washed clean
we all sighed in relief
as that thief of a morning
stole over to afternoon
showers and golden eve
bowers shade all from the
harshness of summer sun
sinking what’s that you ask
thinking another strange way
to describe the sun travels
as daylight unravels and
sunlight gives way to the
lamps and the fireflies
and stars wink like ladies
in blue satin dresses
and moonlight flows down
like a lover’s caresses
It twists in my mind and
makes me quite tired
it’s work to use words
to describe this creation
so give me a pillow
and something to read
the simple things really
are all that I need

July 15 Waiting

Writers Book of Days prompt: It was that kind of day…

I was never good at waiting
itchy antsy
pantys in a wad
need to know the now
the how the why
and wherefore
what’s the deal
you ask I’ll tell you
if you give me answers
fast
hurry worry
scurry around like rats in a
closet closer to
my heart apart
my heart
I want to know
so show the down low
slow to listen
quick to smart off
but sorry all the laters
alligators
after while
crocodile I’m outa here

Windsong

Three word Wednesday CXCVII
gentle, praise, vulgar

the wind it sings a lullaby
and tells me where it’s been
and though my body sleeps below
my soul as if on gentle wings
takes to the air where souls will sing
all gathered in amongst the stars
from all the corners of the earth
sing loudest harmonies
of praises to the one who made
us all and as we gather
angels watch in silence til
the dawn is raised in chorus
no vulgar words can ere compete
with glory blowing through the night
amid among around and round
through starshine moonshine
raining down as softly
as a mothers touch
each soul arrives back home and then
earth gravity settles all to stir
in waking heartbeats
memories pure
of nightsongs heard not
through the day but
we will once again be free
when sunsets pillowed wrapped
in quilts of deepest blue and
purple take us to
the midnight chorus once again
where we will soar in majesty

Treasure

Writer’s Island #11 prompt: Treasure
we search and lurch
from dream to dream
hoping for well
anything
that makes us less
or makes us more
underwater
yearn for shore
on the shore now
thirst for
what was first but now
is last beginnings never
last for we
are moving ever
forward when we
only want to stop the clock
and stay a moment
for a day or maybe longer
time to hold it in
be stronger than
we were the daydream
passes without notice
hours and minutes
taken from us
by the choices
voices of
the ones we love
and those we don’t
the soundtrack in
the background wind
will blow the treetops
over and the shade will hover
for a second then
the sun will out again
our breath our heart
beat from within
without the hands that
hold our days and ways
of passing time
the search is quest is
journey through
the best is still
a part of all our
memories of days
and trees

Even Wolf Girls Get the Blues

The Writers Book of Days prompt for July 13 is Write about a theft.

This blog is my journal so I remind myself here that I have my own permission to suck as much as I want as long as I write something.

Wolf Fear

Jae curled herself up into a tight ball, pushed as far into the corner as she could get.  Small, hidden.  Her inability to make a decision and her fear of confrontation had lead her to this moment.

She had let life happen to her.  Every decision made first by her parents, then Simon, and now the pack.  Aedan.  Everyone told her what was right for her. Jae go here.  Jae hunt there.  Jae do the right thing. Right for who?

Now she was hiding in a corner in Simon’s cabin like a child afraid of the dark.  Simon was gone with a promise to return in two weeks.  She couldn’t even be alone without someone giving her permission!   She took what was offered because she needed time to think.  Too much too fast.  She was learning to hunt and there had been such a feeling of freedom with the pack.  At first. Then the fighting began.  The tension built until Aedan took her on a walk one morning and through pictures in her head,  showed her herself as his mate. Everything crashed in on Jae at once and she ran until exhausted she found herself on Simon’s porch.

Simon!  How could he do this to her.  She snarled at him when he opened the door.  Angry or not, she was horrified at what she had become.  She could have…well she didn’t even want to think about it.  She backed off the porch and Simon shut the door.  He waited until she had calmed down, then told her through the door that he would set clothing outside and when she was changed and dressed he would be waiting inside.

The door open a crack and a pile of clothing appeared on the porch.  The door shut again. When Jae was human and dressed, she opened the door.  Simon was sitting in his rocking chair waiting.  Jae stopped in the middle of the room and stared at him with her fists clenched. “Why didn’t you tell me?”

Simon sighed. “Tell you what?”

“Tell me that I would be forced to choose a mate!  Jae started pacing.  “A wolf stole my humanity.  A wolf stole my family from me.  I can’t go home!  Now my choices for the rest of my life are being stolen too!

“Maybe you better explain a little about what happened.  I am not a wolf, Jae.  I don’t know the inner working of everything.”  Simon spoke in a clam quiet voice and waited for her to answer. Jae realized that she was shaking and sweating and took a deep breath.  She didn’t need to change while she was in the house with Simon and her anger had her feeling more wold than person.  She closed her eyes for a moment until she felt she had control again.

“I can’t just hunt with the pack when I feel like it and then come back and be human here.  I don’t understand it myself but Aedan told me that unattached females can cause the entire pack to become unstable.  If I want to hunt with them I have to choose a mate!  Jae’s voice rose on the last word and she started pacing again.  “I haven’t even had time to get used to being a wolf and now I’m supposed to be a wife too?”

Simon closed his eyes in thought.  “It seems to me that what you are needing from me is time alone to think some things through.”  He opened his eyes and waited until she stopped pacing and looked at him. “I have never lied to you Jae.  I’ve never intentionally left anything out.  It is what it is.  I can try to give help, but I can’t change anything. I wish could.”

Jae looked at Simon and knew he was being honest with her.  She could see in his eyes that he hurt for her.  She bowed her head.  “I’m sorry.  I’m so angry and I don’t know what to do!  Maybe you’re right. I need time to think.”

Simon stood and began packing things in a sack.  “I’ve needed to take a little trip for awhile.  It will give you time.  You are safe here and welcome to stay.  I will be back before the next full moon.”

“Simon.  Thank you and…I’m sorry.”

Simon took her hand.  “You have been strong and I am proud of you.  I have dealt with Aedan before.  He is a fair man and will answer your questions.  There must have been trouble in the pack for him to just throw this at you..”

Jae frowned. “I’ve never met him in human form.”

“Then maybe that is the answer.”  Simon kissed her forehead.  “Take care child.”

Jae was alone.  That night the howling started.  They were all around the house.  She could hear the clicking of their claws on the porch and they banged into the door.  She put out the lantern so they couldn’t see her and allowed her eyesight to adjust.  She rocked herself with her arms wrapped around her knees.  “Go away, go away, go away.” She whispered.

Just about the time Jae thought she would lose her mind, she heard growling and the sound of fighting.  There were yelps of fear and pain and then silence. At first the silence was a relief.  Then fear began to grow.  Would they come back?  What stopped them?

That was how she found herself in this corner.  Trying to hide from her life.  Angry and frozen inside.

For More Wolf Moon stories go here

In The Dark

Adelyn lay still in the dark, staring at the sliver of light shining around the edge of the drapes in the motel room.  In the light she was tough and all business but here in the silence, the fear crept over her, smothering her like a blanket that was too heavy.  She could just make out the lump he made, wrapped in the bedspread on the floor.  She had offered to share the bed, but he said he was used to the floor. Maybe it was the pistol she set on the nightstand next to her. He moaned quietly in his sleep.

She shivered thinking about the day and this new responsibility.  What would daylight bring.  If they made it to daylight.  Adelyn hated the dark because she couldn’t see what was coming.  She loved it because whatever was coming couldn’t see her.  She glanced over at the glowing green numbers of the alarm clock for the thousandth time.  Three in the morning.  She wished for a switch that would let her turn off her mind.  Adelyn willed her eyes closed. She needed sleep.

A Writers Book of Days

Among the pile of mail stuffed into our mailbox was a book I ordered before we left.  “A Writer’s Book of Days” by Judy Reeves.  The cover describes it as “A Spirited Companion & Lively Muse for the Writing Life”  The book is filled with prompts for every day of the year plus encouragement, inspiration and much more.  My plan is to post the prompts each day here which hopefully will not violate any copyright issues and maybe encourage others to purchase the book and possibly join me on this little sidetrip.  I don’t know that I will post my results here every day though I am committed to writing SOMETHING in my journal everyday even if it is something small.  I have no plan to start a participation site or take anything away from the ones I currently participate in.  That said, if you want to play you are welcome to comment or drop me an email at deedeekm at sign gmail dot com.  Most likely if you decide to play I will already be reading your work anyway.

The prompt for today, July 12 fascinated me so here it is:

“Throw away the lights, the definitions and say of what you see in the dark.”  Wallace Stevens (a modernist poet that I had never heard of.  See I’m learning something already!)

I have been letting things slide this summer, not counting the vacation – the slippage had begun before that. This is my public challenge to myself to put the ass in the chair and write.

The How to use this book section tells you to use the prompt in a line or as a jumping off place, turn it around – whatever you want.  Just turn off the internal editor (mine is a pure bitch).  Maybe you could turn on the lights and come out of the dark.  I’m going to visit some friends blogs and do some reading and then see where this prompt takes me.

It is good to be home.

Ruminations

Three Word Wednesday cxcvi acrid bane tepid

Hello from a motel in Opelousas 🙂

chocka chocka chocka
road seams keeping time
wheels turn wheels turn
taking me to and away
miles and miles of separation
mind numbing vibration
other lives not chosen
distance closing
change is coming
I am going home
other eyes other hands
trailing memories in my wake
what to take
and what to leave behind
years of days good times passing
in between the standing still
seconds ticking moments picking
what to choose what to lose
the pieces of
puzzle unfinished
would have wished for
less or more
a closing door
while I would throw
the window open
acrid smell of smoking
ashes burned up past
I cast aside the tide
the trees the sands of
dream stuff trickled
through my fingers
scent that lingers in
my hazy waking thoughts
we fought but kept
the peace the signs
were there
the choice we bear
hours of discussion
scenery keeps on rushing
past the kudzu frosting
we are lost in
separate but together ties
that bind us
still remind us
of the roads that swallow
up the miles
that start as inches
late night conversations
day to day familiar
obligations passions cooled
to tepid hesitation
future is a blacked out game
wishful thinking
all a bane
eternal as the pines and rain
I hold my breath a beat
or two
fingertip to fingertip
I walk with you

Vacation Begins

Writers Island: Imagine

There is a feel to Florida
like nowhere else I’ve been
the ocean softens the air
lazy hazy heat
back in the day
palm trees made me smile
tall and thin
strong and I
eager to run in the sun
I can still imagine that girl
and love the feel of sand
between my toes
but now I feel more kinship
with the liveoaks
dripping with spanish moss
I would sit in their shade
and listen to the bullfrogs
smell the ocean
and watch the palms sway
like so many ladies
fanning themselves
whispering secrets