Author Archives: Dee

About Dee

I am a working wife, geek, and mother of two with opinions about just about everything which I plan to share here.

Chronicles Part 1

 

velvet wings folded round
covering me with grace and peace
“Fear not. I am with you. Always”
Those words whisper
in my  heart and my shivering stops.

“Even in a time of elephantine vanity and greed, one never has to look far to see the campfires of gentle people.”  – Garrison Keillor

Three Adventurers

Sunday Scribbling 297: Fairytale

 

the depths of which
cannot be plumbed
the heights
cannot be scaled
a wilderness
so desolate
imagination pales

yet we the three
adventurers
move on though
pushed by gales
that blow from north
and south and east
and even from the west

but we the three
adventurers
push on to pass
the test
through perilous trail
through cliff and cave
blizzard blinded
onward quest

for we are three
adventurers
brave and strong
and true
though trials and fears
are real my friends and I
will follow through

And later
when the treasure found
we’ll pass the bottle
round and round
and by the fire
burning bright
tell tales throughout
the starlit night
as sparks rise
high and higher still
we’ll laugh and drink
and eat our fill

for we are three
adventurers
home safely warm abide
until the next
we journey forth
the stars our only guide
so merry now
and merry then
and merry come what may
the call to quest
rings loudly out
adventurers obey

image credit: Mobius Cave by Clint Cearley

 

NaNoWriMo 2011 Fini

NaNoWriMo 2011 has been dominated. I hit 50009 words at 10:30 a.m. November 26, 2011.

I did what I set out to do. What I wrote in 2011 is better than what I wrote in 2009. There was an outline, and even though I changed the plot in some major ways, I kept everything in sections, marked revisions, added note sections, and best of all…I still like my characters, I want to spend more time with them. Considering the rewriting and editing that will have to happen before I can call this complete, it is a good thing I don’t want them dead yet.

I learned that for me, sitting down and writing whether I feel like it or not is important. Even if I write utter garbage and bore myself to tears, if I just force myself to keep going, it gets better. It seems very similar to exercise. The whole talking yourself into doing something you really don’t feel like doing. The stiffness at first. The settling into a pace that feels comfortable, and then picking up the pace as you get into the zone and feeling the burn at the end.

The good tired feeling at the end accompanied by the sense of accomplishment.

NaNoWriMo is a race against yourself and the clock but more than that, for me, it is about developing a habit of stepping up to the keyboard and just doing it.

I know this will all need to marinate and I may read my story later and decide that I hate it after all but for now? I will watch the little NaNoWriMo winners video where everyone applauds and congratulates you for “winning”. Basking in the afterglow.

Back to the world.

Anne McCaffrey

Years ago I discovered a series of books by author Anne McCaffrey. After reading the Dragonflight, I systematically hunted down every other book in the series until I read them all and still wished for more. A wikipedia quote describes the basic premise for the series “”technologically regressed survival planet” whose people were united against a threat from space” but does not begin to cover the incredible world that Ms. McCaffrey built in these books. The characters were some of the first to become so real to me that I cried when a dragon died because the relationship with dragon and rider was a telepathic bond and the death of either cause for pain so unbearable for the other that the remaining partner often killed themselves. The characters were so well developed (even some of the dragon personalities) that I would disappear into the world of Pern for hours and come back feeling as though I had spent time with friends that I would miss.

The Dragonriders of Pern series was the first Fantasy Fiction I read that was so strongly done, disbelief was suspended so that when I put the book down, I would be surprised to look around me and realize I was back on earth and that dragons sadly did not in fact, exist.

Anne McCaffery was born in Massachusetts but moved to Ireland where she lived in a house she named Dragonhold. Her son is quoted in the same wikipedia article as saying she “first set dragons free on Pern and then was herself freed by her dragons

Wired’s Matt Blum writes that “McCaffrey helped pave the way for women writers in fantasy and science fiction, and was both the first woman awarded a Hugo Award and the first awarded a Nebula Award. Even in her 80s she continued to write, and over her lifetime produced a prodigious number of books and short stories. She was still answering readers’ mail on her website as of a few weeks ago.”

(From the CBS news website)

Anne McCaffrey was a prolific writer who wrote more than just the Dragonriders of Pern series and her voice will be missed. A stroke took her on November 21 at the age of 85, Thank you Anne for hours of enjoyment and creating a love of Fantasy Fiction in this reader.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Anne_McCaffrey

NaNoWriMo Outtake Jae and Aedan Update

I cruised past the 36000 line this morning. This week will be tough with the holidays, a trip out of town, and family coming home. I plan to do some solid pushing ahead this evening to see if I can’t get ahead.  I have changes and rearranged, plot, point of view, tense and now have a mishmash to wade through after November. I tried to keep it in labeled sections and if they are rewrites, I marked the version. I think I might need to invest in software designed for novel writing. After November I will be researching what is available and see what would be a good fit for me. Something that lets me keep track of characters, places, versions, and lets me reorder pieces that I write out of sequence.If anyone has experience and is comfortable with a particular piece of software (preferable one that doesn’t have a huge complicated learning curve) I would love to hear about it.

Creative copy Challenge 195: fail, trivia, master, dirt, swerve, memory, drive, bed, touch, right

We had been at it for hours. I was exhausted and more than a little pissed right now.  Aedan had my mother’s spell book in his lap. I had tried and tried to commit the words to memory, the actions as habit, and I just couldn’t seem to meld the two. I never had been able to do two things at one time. “You don’t have to drive me so hard. I’m tired. I want to take a shower and go to bed.” I sounded petulant even to myself. That just managed to irritate me more.

“This isn’t some kind of trivia game, Jae. If you don’t learn to control your power you will not be ready when Lucia comes back. You can master a few moves for defense, you have the touch. If you fail, you die. I will be with you all I can, but what if we get separated?” Aedan stood and placed the book on the chair. “Try it on me. Maybe that is the problem. You have no clear vision of where to aim the magic.”

“What? No! What if I hurt you? I have little control.” Now he was just being stupid. I was mad at him but it wasn’t his fault. He was just trying to help. I didn’t want to hurt him.

Aedan snorted. “You haven’t been able to cast enough to give me a pimple! You fade in and out as you shift and as a wolf, you try to swerve and run into a tree. It takes you forever just to shake it off and pick yourself up out of the dirt. From what I read in her book, your mother would be embarrassed. I am not worried. “

“Oh you did not go there!” I felt cold anger take me over.  My mother would be embarrassed? My hands were a blur of motion in the air and words I didn’t know were in my head poured out of me. I saw nothing, not Aedan, not the cabin, just red like blood. I felt it all, pouring through me, out my fingers and then a bright flash and I crumpled. My heart was pounding and my head throbbed. The cold receded and something whispered in my head. Aedan was lying on the floor a few feet from where he had been standing. I tried to make my limbs work and managed to drag myself to him.
“Aedan? Oh my god, I’m sorry. I’m sorry. Please wake up!” I knew this was a bad idea. Aedan moaned and turned over. Holy shit Jae. You trying to kill me? His words sounded funny, as though he had a bad case of laryngitis.

I started to cry. “You idiot! I thought you were dead! Why did you do that?”  I fell back on the floor next to him, shaking uncontrollably. “Guess I am stronger than I thought.”

Aedan reached for my hand.  “Looks like we found the key to your magic. Remind me never to really piss you off.”

I hate it when he is right.

We Remember The Garden

We bore the shame
for mankind’s blame
gave birth in pain
and grieved the same
and at days end
our life’s blood spend
We give our power
for one sweet shower
of rain that falls
on Eden’s halls
We storm the walls
and cry out loud
Eternity’s shroud
will cover us
for dust to dust
is but to trust
there will be more
we storm the door
with prayer and plea
Oh let us see
The penance done
The time has come
For we remember
how it felt
to walk the ground
where God has knelt
and by his hand
made man to stand

Somewhere in dna memory dwells
hidden in blood and bone and cell

and we remember
yes we remember

Wolf Encounter

Creative Copy Challenge 194

1.    Put
2.    Point
3.    Bizarre
4.    Weave
5.    Spiral
6.    Weird
7.    Goofy
8.    Pop
9.    Cult
10.    Fan

Start pleasepleaseplease! Stupid truck. The key rattled in the ignition and finally the motor made a sound that was deafening. They would hear. I put the truck in drive and I stomped the gas pedal hoping this was just some cult. Maybe my coffee was drugged. I couldn’t get the weird vision out of my head. The truck was weaving and rocking on the bumpy road. I rubbed my eyes with my fist thinking the pain might wake me up from whatever this was. I needed to pay attention or I would spiral off a cliff.

There wasn’t much point in getting away from them if I died in a goofy driving accident. Where to? Home? Aedan could show up and…and what? Was I afraid of him now? What was that pop? The truck started limping and rocking on the ridges of the track now. It wasn’t really a road any more. Tires were not meant to go so fast over these rocks. I said a quick prayer that it would make it to Simon’s house. I was not a fan of walking in the dark, especially when I was hallucinating wolves. Simon would know what to do. He was the only friend anywhere near here. I would tell him about this bizarre night and he would have some simple explanation and we would laugh about it.

I pulled the truck up to the edge of the trees. You couldn’t drive all the way to his cabin. I cut the engine off and listened for a moment hearing nothing but the ticking of the engine cooling. The sudden silence was eerie. How many steps up the hill to his porch. I gathered my courage and reached for the door lock when the truck rocked and I felt something heavy land in the bed. The rear view mirror showed glowing eyes getting closer as claws clicked on the metal. So much for hallucinations.

nanowrimo outtake

Wolf Moon Outtake

I crossed the 25000 word line tonight. Half. way. there.

Creative Copy Challenge 193

1.    Gentle
2.    Sweat
3.    Guide
4.    Design
5.    Simple
6.    Full
7.    Borrow
8.    Trace
9.    Technique
10.    Flip

Aedan stopped at the door.

“Go after her. You will have to guide her until she learns.” Simon smiled. “Don’t worry about me. I will clean up here and get some rest.”

Simon had worked magic and skill with herbs and Jae had survived the attack but she had shifted and was a new wolf. It would take a gentle touch to show her simple things that Aedan took for granted. She would need to master the technique of holding her humanity deep inside when in wolf form, while changing her perspective to fit with her new body. The brain could adjust but it was meant to deal with one form, by design.

Aedan took off, running full out, until he caught up with the wolf. He came at her from behind and flipped her onto her back. He stepped back and stood in front of her waiting.

“What did you do that for?” Jae jumped up, shaking herself. A trace of leaves and grass clung to sweat dampened fur. She was angry and confused but her wolf instinctively reacted to the alpha. That seemed to anger her more.

“You have to take it slow until you get used to this body. Your height is different. Your coordination is different. I’m sorry, but I don’t want you to kill yourself by running off a cliff or into a tree.” Aedan watched as she hesitated.

“Wait. How can I hear you?” Jae knew they were not speaking, and yet, she understood Aedan as if he said the words.

“I can hear you too. You will be able to communicate with the entire pack. In fact, you will need to learn to shield your thoughts or they will know everything you think. Not always convenient.”

“Lucia?”

Aedan had been waiting for her to ask. “Simon would not let her in. She tried to talk him into it and then she tried to force her way in. She wants to kill you. I’m not sure if there is anything human left in her.”

Jae bowed her head. “I don’t know if I have the strength to handle this.”

Aedan felt the panic rising in her. “Then you can borrow mine.”

A Poppy In The Grass

 

they say
it is the color of insanity
but I think that is envy
brash in your face
little piece of sun
though the grass may try
to choke you down
and hide you out
you stem from fertile soil
and crane your petals
for a better view
unaware
that we are looking
at you

 

image credit: unknown

Our Hands

We cannot move if we allow others to pull the strings.
We will just make shadows on the wall
until we realize that the bright horizon we wish for,
can only be reached if we are the ones piloting the ship.
We will never move in any direction.
It is by our own hands that we steer,
our own hope that lifts us above
the clouds that hide the sky,
our own breath that fills the sails.

Picture credit..

http://freshbump.com/bird-in-hand-a-ceiling-light-inspired-by-the-art-of-hand-shadows/

Nanowrimo Week Two

I am on target with word count but need to get myself a little bit ahead this weekend to make up for the times I will not be able to write. I have hit the wall a few times and the voices whisper. The say “there is no way you can do this” or worse, “you can finish the word count but you are boring and terrible. Your level of suckage is not even exciting enough to be terrible – it is just mundane.”

I hate the voices. I want them to be hit by a train. I want to be the engineer of that train and gleefully blow the whistle as I roll over the internal critics and laugh as I hear them gasp their last dying breath….I want to kick some negativity ass so hard that I break my toe and hop around cursing until I am mad enough to write again.

Okay. I am now over 18000 words and I am psyched up enough to write a good fight scene. I hope….Shut up voices. I can do this. I can.

Nanowrimo 2011 Week 1 Ends

At 6200 (and the day is not over) I am a bit behind on word count but I am ahead of where I was my first nano experience.  My outline grows.  I have added sections for characters and build on details as I get to know them.  I have also added sections for details of places in the story to help me place the characters in them. I have a mostly complete map of the general story and beginning to break down the separate scenes.

I made myself a writing playlist in iTunes to stay in the mood and of course I have a supply of chocolate covered coffee beans.

Enough procrastinating!  Jae and Aedan have not technically met as humans yet so I have to get them together. I could use a couple thousand more words tonight!

Danger At The River

Creative Copy Challenge 190

  1. Suck 
  2. Will
  3. Love
  4. Great
  5. Surround
  6. Fluid
  7. Big
  8. Me
  9. Enough
  10. Move

The rock still held some warmth from the sun and I loved to come here to sit and watch the sunset. I couldn’t get enough of it. Even with the noise from the river, I felt a peace like nowhere else. I thought for the thousandth time, how grateful I was to Aunt Kathryn for leaving the cabin to me in her will. The more I learned about her from her journals and from tiny touches around the little house, the more I was sure I would have loved her.

My thoughts were interrupted by motion at the edge of my vision. I turned my head and there stood a wolf on my side of the river. I sucked in my breath and jumped off the rock and the wolf growled, front legs planted apart. It was beautiful and terrifying all at the same time.

Her movements were fluid. Why did I assume the wolf was a female? I was suddenly acutely aware of my surroundings. Nothing but trees, and the roar of the rapids would be loud enough to drown out my voice if I tried to shout for help. I took a slow step back. Her fur was standing up and I was close enough to see the delicate pink of her gums. Her lips were peeled back and the large canines glinted in the remaining light. Remaining light..it would be dark soon. No one would know I was gone until morning when the shop remained closed. Great.

“Look. I don’t mean you any harm.  Nice doggie?”

The wolf growled, deep and menacing. I could swear she was angry.  What a crazy thing to think. She was closer and she was big.  I took another step and she growled again, tracking my movement. I was sweating in the cool air. I felt ridiculously clumsy and slow. Her eyes seemed intelligent and I knew I was in danger.

The almost ebony wolf suddenly jerked her head up. Something was behind me. I slowly turned my head and saw a huge brown wolf. I would be dinner for two.

Instead of both of them attacking me, the brown wolf leaped around me and stood between me and the female. This was the wolf I had seen watching me from the other side of the river. He growled and stepped forward until he was just a few feet from the black wolf, a rumbling sound coming from his throat the whole time. The female held her ground for a moment and then lowered her head. The brown wolf continued to growl until she laid down and exposed her throat. I could do nothing but stare in fascination. He nipped at her and she rolled and rose to her feet and with a look back at me, turned and loped off. My rescuer turned and sat down in front of me. I was frozen in place.

When my heart stopped pounding so hard that I was sure he could hear it, I sunk to the ground. This was crazy. Why wasn’t I running?

I tried to speak and nothing came. I swallowed and tried again.

“Thank you.”

The wolf just stared at me. I lowered my head just like the female wolf did.  He seemed almost to nod, stood and walked away.

I managed to stand and turned toward home, my legs shaking. I made it home with no more trouble, let myself in the door and threw the deadbolt.

I turned on every light in the house. It was going to be a while before I could sleep.

Nanowrimo 2011

The first time I did nanowrimo I was a total “pantser” meaning I just dove in and began writing. I had an idea but not a plan. This year I am working with an ever-evolving outline following “The Hero’s Journey.  I am reading Plot and Structure by James Scott Bell and Story Engineering by Larry Brooks as I write, trying to wrap my head around everything. I have the word goal in the back of my head but it will not be my main goal this year. My main goal is to have a workable START when I am finished. Something that tells a cohesive story, and follows a sort of map so that I can concentrate on the writing and not figuring out where it is going or how to write myself out of a corner or how do I fix the huge hole in my plot.

This is not to say that things can’t change.  Sometimes characters get a mind of their own and if one decides to go a different direction I am giving myself permission to follow them.

I am self taught so I am looking at the challenge like this:  The first year, I was a freshman.  Annoying but cute – people would pat me on the head and wish me luck with my “novel”.  It was a horrible, wonderful, exciting, terrifying experience and I was proud at the end that I finished period.  I wrote  FIFTY THOUSAND WORDS!  They might have been horrible and stilted and lost in the swamp of a poor plot and wooden characters, and confuse storyline – but I learned a lot and I accomplished something (mostly a big stack of tree-killing paper and a tee-shirt)

This year I enter as a sophomore. I look at the annoying little freshman and smile, remembering when I was one but I am ever so much more mature now…  I will learn more about the process and use a fluid map to make sure I have an idea of where I am going. I give myself permission to NOT have a great novel at the end, but to have something BETTER than I did last time. Even if I do not make the word count. I will do all this while working full time, cooking for Thanksgiving, planning for Christmas, and dealing with all of the daily challenges.

So folks, there you have it. My nanowrimo manifesto.
I have included a general portrayal of The Heroes Journey and how it fits with three act structure. Those of you who already know this stuff can ignore me and roll your eyes.  If you are a junior or senior this is not news to you – if like the rest of us you are a freshman or sophomore you may think you have just discovered your own magic elixir.

ACT ONE
1. The Ordinary World -  hero introduced in their normal setting

2. Call to Adventure – everything is about to change whether the hero knows it or not

3. Refusal of Call/Reluctant Hero – for whatever reason, the hero refuses the call

4. Meeting Wise Mentor – Hero is committed to the quest and a mentor shows up

5. The First Threshold – Hero leaves their normal world into the unknown

ACT TWO
6. Tests, Allies and Enemies – trials, a series of tests, tasks, or ordeals that  hero must undergo to begin transformation. Often the person fails one or more of these tests, which often occur in 3s.

7. Supreme Ordeal – person’s lowest point or darkest moment, chance for major change or “rebirth”

8. Revisiting the Mentor – hero revisits teachings if mentor or maybe learns from a new one, returns to the path

ACT THREE
9. Return with New Knowledge – Wisdom gained on the quest, integrated into hero’s life

10. Seizing the Sword (or Prize) Hero defeats enemies, overcomes issues,

11. Resurrection – old self “dies” (physically, spiritually?)

12. Return with Elixir – achievement of the goal of the quest

 

I am posting this to make my commitment more ahem, public (in other words to shame myself into not finding excuses to NOT do this!)