Category Archives: Personal

The Don’ts

Lately I have had a really bad case of what Dale calls “the don’ts”. I get home from work and “don’t” want to do anything that requires thinking.  I don’t want to do anything but “veg” out in front of the tv.  I don’t want to read anything educational and I don’t want to work at anything.  I am needing a good dose of holiday spirit and holiday vacation.  I know – we just had a few days off for Thanksgiving but that didn’t do it for me.

I don’t want to watch the news about how bad the economy is.  I don’t want to read the news about how bad unemployment is.  I don’t want to hear about politics or the war. I don’t want to think about some guy over in Iraq who is missing his family and I don’t want to think about family and friends who are struggling right now.
It’s not that I don’t care about all those things and I usually love to learn new things, read new things, and do more when I get home than turn into an extra lump of a pillow in a chair in the living room.

I apologize deeply to all who have it so much worse than I do, for whining but I am feeling very much like Scarlet O’hara right now – I will think about it in the morning (or after Christmas)  I will say a prayer and leave it with God and trust that He is going to work it all out and wait for the circle to turn to where I can drum up a bit of enthusiasm or even a slight case of curiosity.  I. am. officially. no. fun.

This too shall pass.

Twilight Update

I finished the entire series and to my shame I have to admit I am anxious for the next movie to come out.  I would be worried about myself but some people are addicted to “Desperate Housewives” and “Sex In The City” and I never could see the appeal.

So I’m hooked on stories about teenage vampires in love – go figure.  If you have just started reading I encourage you to finish because “Breaking Dawn” – the last book, is the best and ends with the resolution of all the conflicts that began in the first book.

What is there not to attract when you would be forever young, you can’t get sick, you don’t need sleep, you’re rich, and you are forever in that state of having just fallen in love.  You don’t have to eat, you are very strong and fast, you don’t have to worry about making a bed or washing dishes.  If you are like the Cullens, you only hunt where the wildlife needs thinning out, and you don’t have to worry about the weather (except of course you can’t go out in the sun.

The characters mature in their relationships and good triumphs over evil if you can use the word good to describe a vampire fantasy story.   That last sentence is strange given the context but there is actually great deal of discussion about values.  Marriage before sex, self-contol, putting someone else’s needs ahead of your own, bravery, family, friendship, cooperation for the greater good; all are present.  The vampires seem more human than humans at times.

Maybe that is finally what held my attention.  I REALLY like happy endings and I would like to live in a better world.  Edward is at rock bottom, concerned for Bella’s soul and Bella believes that Edward might still have one.  The entire Cullen family has created a lifestyle that allows them to exist in the world with concern for not hurting humans.  They spend more time worrying about that than we humans do.

Escape reality for awhile and visit Forks where things are not as they seem.  Have a Caramel Macchiato, a couple of chocolate chip cookies and curl up by the fire.  Real life will be waiting.

twilight22.jpg

A Blessed Thanksgiving

This is a very special Thanksgiving for us because it is the one year birthday of Dale’s kidney.  I can’t believe it has been a year since we packed up and headed to Dallas for nearly a month.  We picked up the apartment key that night at Baylor and “moved” in.  The next morning we reported to admitting before dawn and the entire family, friends, pastor, and more, got comfortable in the waiting room as Dale and his sister started the process of getting ready for surgery.  It was a long and nerve-racking day but everything went fine.  We had a few glitches after the surgery with Dale going into “acute” rejection and needing to be dialyzed one time before things started settling down.

To try to thank everyone for everything that was done for us is overwhelming.  We were LOVED.  Folks I work with collected money, put up with me being a little crazier than usual, friends checked on us, checked on our kids, sent things they thought we would need, gave money so that Sondra wouldn’t miss salary, prayed for us, sent cards, brought our kids to visit us (and cooked with them – thanks Beej!), visited us, and I’m sure I am forgetting someone or something.

The difference in Dale and our lives as a family in the last year is so great.  Dale is probably 50 pounds heavier, the transplant medications no longer bother him, he has not been diabetic and is able to eat almost anything he wants.  He only has to go the transplant center every six weeks now.  He laughs and picks at people again and if you know him at all, you know that is a sure sign that he is himself. He will always have balance issues but he is happy, is cooking, and goes to lunch with our busy son a few times a week.  He keeps us organized, and keeps us going.
To all of you that held us up and pulled us through, thank you, we love you and you will never know just how much every little thing meant or how each kindness pulled us one more inch up the hill we had to climb.

Twilight

Friday night I joined a large percentage of the female population and went to see Twilight with my daughter and some of her friends.  I have NEVER waited in a theater for an hour to get in to see a movie before.  Not even StarWars, Harry Potter, or Indiana Jones.  We were probably in the first dozen or so people let in so we were able to sit near the back which I prefer – I hate getting a stiff neck.  There were a LOT of teenage girls in the theater so I was a little concerned that they would be talking and texting and the usual throughout the movie.  I needn’t have worried though – the minute it started they got quiet and except for the places where they laughed out loud at the movie the only noise I heard was an occasional comment about how something was different from the book.

Those comments made the whole thing a little surreal to me.  When is the last time YOU went to see a movie and heard a lot of teenagers commenting on the differences between the book and the movie?  I have always told my daughter that I would just as soon see a movie first and read a book second because if I reverse the process I am always disappointed. I like my imagination better than Hollywood.

My daughter and her friends had read the entire series.  I have only read the first book and it is a nice romantic story with some violence and vampires thrown in.  I know if I had read it in high school I would have been more enthusiastic – still it was fun to read, fun to watch the movie, and even more fun to listen to the girls who were all completely in love with the “totally perfect amazing, have to see it over and over again”, characters.  I was actually surprised at the amount of grown women sporting “real men sparkle” tee shirts.  I will read the rest of the series and will more than likely go see the rest of the movies as they are made.

This is not a movie for children.  There is violence and the “forbidden love” aspect and while I have heard some comparisons to the Harry Potter series I completely disagree.  Harry Potter does not have sexual overtones and there are messages throughout the stories that promote honesty, loyalty, and kindness.  While Harry Potter is science fiction and talks about magic, there is always this underlying confrontation of good versus evil and good always wins, even though there are trials.  There is a growth process that happens in the main characters as they mature.  Twilight is not about maturing – it’s about sexual tension, and the completely perfect (mainly because it is absolutely unattainable) romance.

It’s a teenage chic flick.

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Thinking About Change?

I always like hearing or reading what Lawrence Lessig has to say. I don’t always completely agree with him but I admire his presentation technique and he always makes me think.

Watch for this quote “they will purchase the voice of the people, and make them pay the price.”
Presentation

I was unable to embed it so I hope you will click on the link and watch – it is a little bit over 12 minutes long.

This Tuesday’s Ten Things

1. I am a little out of my regular routine.  I pulled a muscle in my back this weekend and have been taking pain medicine while we get the computers on the new domain.

2. It has been hectic and I have learned some things as I go along but we are making progress and the teachers have really been good about the process.

3. People will be getting here for bible study in while and Dale has made Rigatoni Bolognese so I am planning on “carbing” up and starting the book of James.

4. The possibility of a server crash and having to migrate profiles is a VERY good reason to keep things organized and cleaned out on a computer.  The more junk you have the longer it takes to copy a profile and the less organized you are, the harder it is to find things as they are moved.

5.  Teachers may fuss and complain about little things but when they know you are working to get them back in business they are patient, kind, and leave candy bars in your mailbox.

6.  Nothing about computers is ever as easy and smooth as it should be.

7.  It has been rainy and cool for the last two days but today I didn’t know what it was doing for most of the day – I never had time to look outside til lunchtime and then again after 3:00.

8.  We worked last night til 8:30 and there were ten of us – techs from the other campuses came and helped and I am so thankful.  It made a huge difference in getting the bulk of the main building on the new domain,  They are a great bunch of people!

9.  I am smelling dinner cooking right now and it is making me hungry!

10.  After bible study I am going to soak in a hot tub and curl up with my book.  A good night’s sleep and I will be ready to hit it again!

More Band Kudos

You may be getting a little tired of me posting about “THE BAND” but it is our last year in high school so stick around – there will be an end to it.  For now a bit of bragging from another town!
Quoted from The Paris News:

We were entertained


Published November 7, 2008

To the Editor:

For over 30 years I have attended high school football games of schools of all sizes. Each of these games came with half-time performances so I have seen many of those also. Last Friday night I witnessed the best performance of a high school band I have ever seen.

When the North Lamar Panther Band took the field at Van Alstyne Friday night it was amazing. From the moment they entered the arena we were entertained. Their performance was beautiful, moving and executed in almost perfection. It was obvious that many long hours of hard work had gone into preparation for this program. The Van Alstyne fans were the recipients of an outstanding show and we appreciated it. We look forward to their performance next year!

Your community should be very proud to be home to a high school marching band and the caliber of the North Lamar Panthers. It was obvious that the students, director, administration and band parents believe in this program. Congratulations to all involved in a job well done. Good luck to the North Lamar Panther Band in their future competition!

Betty Childress

Van Alstyne

Thank you Betty!

What’s a Whuffie?

I checked out my Twitter feed this morning and David Warlick was live blogging from TechForum in Austin.

“Social and intellectual capital are the new economic values of the world economy.”

discussed by Sheryl Nussbaum-Beach

The quote reminded me of this:
In Down and Out in the Magic Kingdom (2003) by Cory Doctorow

The usual economic incentives have disappeared from the book’s world. Whuffie has replaced money, providing a motivation for people to do useful and creative things. A person’s Whuffie is a general measurement of his or her overall reputation, and Whuffie is lost and gained according to a person’s favorable or unfavorable actions. The question is, who determines which actions are favorable or unfavorable? In Down and Out, the answer is public opinion. Rudely pushing past someone on the sidewalk will definitely lose you points from them (and possibly bystanders who saw you), while composing a much-loved symphony will earn you Whuffie from everyone who enjoyed it.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Whuffie

As often happens in science fiction, there will be bits and pieces that make the story believable because they will mirror parts of life that are close to present reality. Mr. Doctorow didn’t have the economic incentives part right, but social and intellectual capital sure sounds like Whuffie to me.Another thing mentioned in Mr. Warlick‘s post was that people don’t subscribe to magazines, they subscribe to people.

We all have “our people”; those we listen to, go to, read, learn from, trust, and respect. Where are yours? Are they at your workplace? In your feed reader?

Ten For Tuesday – Places I Dream About Seeing

Ten places I would like to see, in no particular order.

Petra

1. Petra (Jordan)

2. Giant’s Causeway (Ireland)

3.  Jerusalem

4.  Greece

5.  Japan

6.  Galapagos Islands

7.  Vancouver, Canada

8.  Marrakesh

9.  Victoria Falls, South Africa

10.  New Zealand

Do you have special places you dream of seeing?  Places that you have read about or seen in pictures but wish you could stand and see in real life?  I’d love to hear about them!

State 08!

State 08!!!

2:15 P.M. I am at work, repeatedly glancing at the clock, knowing that in about fifteen minutes, my daughter will be playing in the Alamo Dome with the North Lamar Panther Band at the State UIL competition and I am a nervous wreck because I am not there.  I am excited for them and nervous at the same time!

3:00 P.M. She just called me.  She felt like it went very well and she thinks she played the best she has ever done. Now we just have to wait for results to see who goes to finals!

4:30 She called again.  They didn’t make finals but they are 9th out of 20 so they can relax now and have a good time.  9th is not bad at all!!  There were 7 bands that made finals so they got pretty close.

I’m so proud of the band.  It has been a long road getting to State and will be a turning point in the lives of some kids just from the realization that they were able to persevere and while the death of one of their fellow band members is tragic and nothing can make that okay, some positive things will come from it.  Yay Panther band – you are champions in my book!

A Memory

One fall night when my son was little, I went outside for some reason after he had been put to bed.  We lived in the country in Louisiana then and had a big wooden deck on the back of the house.

Because we were away from town there were not a lot of lights to reflect against the night sky and it was one of those dark, crisp chilly nights when the sky is full of stars.  I went in my son’s room and and woke him and told him I had something to show him.  He was wearing yellow pajamas and I wrapped him in his blue quilt and took him out on the deck and laid down with him and told him to look up.

We both just laid there looking up at the millions of stars in that clear sky.  He is grown now and probably doesn’t even remember that night but it is etched in my mind as though it happened yesterday.

When he started getting sleepy I carried him back to bed and kissed him goodnight as I tucked him in.  If I had a wish, it would be to go back and take more moments like that with my children and then freeze them forever in a snow globe so I could go back and visit whenever I want.  I could shake it and watch the glitter fall and be back holding him wrapped in a quilt, smelling his curly baby hair.

Treasures aren’t things, nor are they huge events.  They are perfect little moments when time stops and we can count our own heartbeats.  This is one of my treasures.

Ten For Tuesday

1.  This day has flown by because I never stopped moving!
2.  I am going to make it my business to learn what is where on the servers from now on!
3.  Some of what we thought was gone is not (which is the reason for number 3!) and there is more than one way to keep grades and do an export.  You can physically move folders and export files.  Not elegant but it works.
4.  The weather is getting chilly – time for soup and bread!!

5.  I cannot stress enough, the importance of backing things up.

6.  If we didn’t have bible study tonight, I would probably be in bed by 7 o’clock.

7.  It never seems to amaze me, the people who are the most willing to help in a crisis.

8.  I am again reminded that I get dumber when I am tired.

9. I am also reminded that sometimes the best way to learn to swim is to be thrown in the water (and the best way to learn is when you absolutely HAVE to)
10.  I am planning on writing more on this blog, even if it is from prompts. I want to write more with the goal of learning to be a better writer. If you read here you may find some strange posts appearing in the future.  I am saying this now so that I will be able to hold myself to it!

I think I could have written twenty for Tuesday but I’m going to save it up.  I’m going to take a deep breath and let it all go til tomorrow, and to quote Sidney the psychiatrist on M.A.S.H. – “pull down your pants and slide on the ice!”

Sometimes  we just need to be silly… 🙂

Beauty From Ashes

Eye make-up washed off by tears – $10.00

Lotion for hands sore from clapping – $ 3.99

Cough drop for throat raspy from yelling – $1.98

Heart full of pride – PRICELESS!

I’m scribbling this in the car on the way home from the UIL band competition.  We made it in time to see the Paris Blue Blazes Band take the field and their show was just beautiful and graceful.  We stayed til after the North Lamar Panther Band finished playing and until we knew both bands had made ones!

I yelled and clapped for both bands and it made me incredibly proud that I work with these wonderful creatures who overcome so much everyday. Band teaches a sense of community, responsibility, accountability, and that practice really DOES make perfect.

Today, it taught them that beauty can come from ashes, that you can move and work through grief, and you can create meaning from senseless loss.

They proved to themselves that you can step up and do what needs to be done even when it is painful, and that the beat is still in your heart and head even when the drummer stops playing.  I am humbled.

Plans and Prayers

I had worked on a post last night and planned to finish it today. We all have plans all the time.  We plan what we will do at work, what we will have for supper, what clothes we will wear.  We plan on our kids outliving us and being living proof that while we leave this earth – we go on, in our children and in the people we have affected while we are here.  We are not ever supposed to outlive our children.  This week not one but two sets of parents are having to experience what that is like and this is not a very big community.  The two kids who died, both in car wrecks, were both seniors in high school – one in each of the larger schools in town.  One was a band kid with ties to most of the debate kids that were at a tournament today. The other had just started speech and debate and worked at Braums.

Plans are made but in a blink, plans come to a halt and all the things that seem important aren’t even a blip on the radar.  I hugged kids today – and a couple of moms.  The debate tournament went on and the kids managed to pull it together and to love and support each other.

The kids at the other school collected money for the little girls funeral.   We see so much bad and worry about the world but in the last week I have been so proud of kids, and so heartbroken for them as well.  I don’t dare try to imagine what it is like to lose a child.  There is a part of me that thinks about my kids driving and I just want to take the keys and keep them home again like when they were small.  Then I had a little control – then I could protect them, or at least I had the facade that I could.  That facade has been gone for some time and I just keep coming back to prayer.  That is all we have left after a certain point.

That’s all I know to do tonight.  The older I get the more I believe that it’s ALL I know for sure.

Thursday Stuff

I went to church for a half hour before work this morning.  It isn’t a beautiful sanctuary with stained glass windows, but the lights were low and Jason was playing guitar and singing praise.  There weren’t a lot of people there, but those who were, sang and prayed and I left with a peace.  I could start the day like that every day.

A student was killed in a car accident last night.  It was not known til this morning and the kids were already wound up because tonight is the bonfire.  There are having a candlelight silent time in her memory.  I couldn’t go. I knew her by face but other than that not really.  I have friends who lived right next to her while she was growing up – she used to keep their kids.  She was a senior yesterday and now she is gone.
I made it the whole 24 hours and didn’t even really fell any discomfort til pretty close to the end of the day.  Food was on my mind but I didn’t want it – weird.  I may try to do this every now and then.  Every time I thought about food I remembered to pray. Even with all the crazy little things going on all day.

A server tanked today and I have people scheduled in the lab and no idea if anyone will be able to log in.  We don’t realize just how ubiquitous technology has become – until it is broken.  Tomorrow will be interesting.  I’m sure there will be a lot of questions and complaints.  It’s Friday though and we will survive! Hug your kids tonight – I know I will mine.

Blog Action Day – Poverty

The day is here, or in my case almost over. Bloggers all over are posting on poverty and I stayed busy and almost let it slip by.  I have been thinking today about spiritual poverty and how it goes hand in hand with physical and economic poverty.  In a nation that has boasted that it is the richest nation in the world we have poverty and how can that be?  How can so many have so much and some still go to bed hungry.

There is a story that I read about what heaven and hell are like.  A man goes on a tour of heaven and hell.  At his first stop, there is a group of people sitting around a pot.  Wonderful smells are coming from the pot and the people have spoons that are long enough to reach the pot, but so long that when they try to maneuver them to their mouths, the spoons tip and the stew spills out before they can eat.  They are all weeping and moaning from hunger.

The next stop the same wonderful smelling stew is cooking in the pot and people are sitting around the pot with the same long spoons but they are all happy and talking and no one is hungry.

The man is told that the first stop was hell – plenty to eat but everyone hungry.  The second stop is heaven and the only difference is that the second group has learned to feed each other.

It is spiritual poverty that has our country in the economic state it is in.  Everyone has plenty and big long spoons to eat it with, but we haven’t learned to feed each other.

We have been studying the minor prophets at church and in nearly every case of troubled times, a prophet would call for a time of fasting and praying.  Our pastor suggested we as a congregation call a fast.  They will have the church open at 6 in the morning so people can stop for prayer and worship before work, for a time at lunch, and again after work.  The fast is not a requirement for anyone – you are invited to participate if you want and are medically able.  You can just pray if you don’t feel led to fast.

There will be directed prayer as we pray for our country, our community, and our ministry as a congregation as well as quite worship time.
I thought it was a fitting way to look at blog action day – doing without food by choice as a reminder of those who go without so much and as a prayer for those who have so much.

If you know me then you know it will not hurt me to miss a meal.  I don’t know if I will make it the whole way, but whatever hunger I feel will be a reminder to me of how blessed I am to have the choice and to know that while I might choose to go without food, I can if I so choose, head for the refrigerator at 2 A.M. and eat my fill and so can my children.

I know that I can make the house note this month and the electric bill will be paid so I will be able to keep posting on this computer.  I have my choice of shoes and clothes to wear and they are all clean because I have a washer and dryer and water.

My hope and prayer for our nation is that we would be a people of heaven, that we would be filled by so much more than food, and that we would learn to feed each other and stop trying to fill ourselves with the junk of the world that leaves us with a yearning for something the world can’t give us.

If we want to cure poverty, we need to cure the spiritual poverty that has caused us to harden our hearts to the needs around us.  The change that would happen externally is going to have to start internally in our hearts.

Sunday Night Musing

I wrote an entire page to post and abandoned it so I am just going to throw out some random things that are rattling around in my brain.

I saw this Friday on CNN Money

forecloure.jpg

Why don’t we have a link to a how-to for the best technique for strangling puppies???
It is good that I am NOT God – there would be some definite “smiting” going on.  This is the kind of thing that makes me want to move to another planet.

The opening of the stockmarket tomorrow morning has the feel of the terrible car wreck that you drive by and do not want to look, but you can’t help yourself.  If that wasn’t bad enough, a car wreck would usually be cleaned up and gone the next day when you passed that spot.  I don’t think that will be the case here.

The election news is nothing but a contest of who can pick up the biggest rock and throw it and if there is mud clinging to it, all the better.  I don’t care which side you are for – I wouldn’t give two cents for the whole pile of them.

I’d like a little nobility, a little humility, and a little compassion – you know, leadership qualities?

Why does it seem that the people we choose to lead us so often have nothing that resembles those qualities?

Seth Godin wrote:

To really stand for something, you must make difficult decisions, mostly about what you don’t do. We don’t ship products like that, we don’t stand for employees like that (“you’re fired”), we don’t fix problems like that.It’s so hard to stand up, to not compromise, to give up an account or lose a vote or not tell a journalist what they want to hear.

But those are the only moments where standing for something actually counts, the only times that people will actually come to believe that you in fact actually stand for something.

That is what I want to hear.  If the only way you can get ahead is by making everyone around you look bad you are not leading.  When who you are makes everyone around you look better?  That’s the leader I want.  Tell me what you are for and what we need to do to get there.  Stand for something, tell me what that is, and if I vote for you – do your damnedest to take us in that direction or tell me why and what has changed.

If there is a lot of mud flying around it will eventually cover everyone in the vicinity. Be the diamond that sparkles in the dirt – that will get my attention.

Be the one who makes us all ashamed to profit off foreclosure.  Be the one that makes us lift each other up because we feel like we are all better being around you.

Hope everyone had a great weekend.  Tomorrow it all begins again!

Ten For Tuesday – Late!

1. The economy is scaring me – that and the elections are making me not want to watch the news.
2.  I’m glad bible study is tonight.
3.  I’m loving this fall weather!
4.  Today was better than yesterday.
5.  Shortbread cookies and latte make my tummy happy.
6.  Salad was good tonight for supper!
7.  I need to do something alone – it’s time for a day
8.  I want to learn something new
9.  The neighbor dog barks too much
10. Isn’t running for president right now a lot like telling the captain of the Titanic to get off the boat so you can be captain??