Category Archives: Personal

July 18 Recurring Dreams

Writer’s Book of Days Prompt: Write about a recurring dream

where do they come from
these dreams of running
something cunning
is there a meaning
a missing something
throw the bones
read the runes
the calendar of days
of trees of magics
older than we are
older than the beetles
crawling in the graves
that wait for me
what saves me
is this one thing
that grace will give
another chance
a dance
for us no thought
for dreams and hopes
fear of what I wish
I knew I run and run
and feel the something
over my shoulder
on my heels the wheels
of my mind frustrate me
I know me not and fear
that if I did I would
find me boring
if I were more able
more social more stable
more willing to try
to buy into the ways
of you and yours
would you accept
I’ve kept it light
you never liked it
deep too sad
you said let’s drink
and laugh and time
will pass
but something stays
behind and buried
cannot breathe
this withered atmosphere
a shriveled tear
left on the table
traded for a smile


July 17 Jae and Aedan

Writer’s Book of Days prompt: in a state of disarray

Writers Island prompt#12: Reunion

Aedan looked at her standing there wrapped in a blanket, holding a knife, fierce and afraid but facing him down anyway.  He stood still with his arms at his sides.  He didn’t want to give her any more reason to fear him.  He knew he had handled things badly.

He sat down.  It was all he could think to do.

“Wait.  You remember?  You were there?” Her hand tightened on the knife.  “Was it you?  Did you bite me?”

Aedan frowned. “No it wasn’t me!  Think back.  Don’t you remember the wolves?”

Jae thought about that night.  She remembered a large gray wolf.  Aedan was a dark chestnut in his wolf form.  She felt some of the tension leave her muscles.  She thought again about the wolf.  She always thought her dad made him leave but she remembered there being more than one wolf.  Her da couldn’t have beaten them all off.  She was so scared and it hurt and everything seemed to happen so fast.  She remembered another wolf snarling and…”It was you!  You attacked the grey wolf! You made him stop biting me.”

“That was Liam.  He was a new wolf.  Very strong but not a lot of self control.  He moved too quickly for me to stop him completely.  I hoped you wouldn’t change, but I was too late.”

Jae shrugged. “So why didn’t I meet Liam when I was with the pack?”

Aedan looked towards the woods.  “Liam is gone.”

Jae watched him. “So why are you here?”

Aedan looked back at Jae. “I wanted to meet you in human form.  Simon sent a message telling me you were here.”

Jae sat down, still keeping her distance. “Simon.  I should have known.”

Aedan smiled. “He meant no harm.”

Jae was quiet for a moment.  “Your eyes are the same.”

Aedan stared at her. “So are yours.”

For More Wolf Moon Stories click here


July 15 Waiting

Writers Book of Days prompt: It was that kind of day…

I was never good at waiting
itchy antsy
pantys in a wad
need to know the now
the how the why
and wherefore
what’s the deal
you ask I’ll tell you
if you give me answers
fast
hurry worry
scurry around like rats in a
closet closer to
my heart apart
my heart
I want to know
so show the down low
slow to listen
quick to smart off
but sorry all the laters
alligators
after while
crocodile I’m outa here

Even Wolf Girls Get the Blues

The Writers Book of Days prompt for July 13 is Write about a theft.

This blog is my journal so I remind myself here that I have my own permission to suck as much as I want as long as I write something.

Wolf Fear

Jae curled herself up into a tight ball, pushed as far into the corner as she could get.  Small, hidden.  Her inability to make a decision and her fear of confrontation had lead her to this moment.

She had let life happen to her.  Every decision made first by her parents, then Simon, and now the pack.  Aedan.  Everyone told her what was right for her. Jae go here.  Jae hunt there.  Jae do the right thing. Right for who?

Now she was hiding in a corner in Simon’s cabin like a child afraid of the dark.  Simon was gone with a promise to return in two weeks.  She couldn’t even be alone without someone giving her permission!   She took what was offered because she needed time to think.  Too much too fast.  She was learning to hunt and there had been such a feeling of freedom with the pack.  At first. Then the fighting began.  The tension built until Aedan took her on a walk one morning and through pictures in her head,  showed her herself as his mate. Everything crashed in on Jae at once and she ran until exhausted she found herself on Simon’s porch.

Simon!  How could he do this to her.  She snarled at him when he opened the door.  Angry or not, she was horrified at what she had become.  She could have…well she didn’t even want to think about it.  She backed off the porch and Simon shut the door.  He waited until she had calmed down, then told her through the door that he would set clothing outside and when she was changed and dressed he would be waiting inside.

The door open a crack and a pile of clothing appeared on the porch.  The door shut again. When Jae was human and dressed, she opened the door.  Simon was sitting in his rocking chair waiting.  Jae stopped in the middle of the room and stared at him with her fists clenched. “Why didn’t you tell me?”

Simon sighed. “Tell you what?”

“Tell me that I would be forced to choose a mate!  Jae started pacing.  “A wolf stole my humanity.  A wolf stole my family from me.  I can’t go home!  Now my choices for the rest of my life are being stolen too!

“Maybe you better explain a little about what happened.  I am not a wolf, Jae.  I don’t know the inner working of everything.”  Simon spoke in a clam quiet voice and waited for her to answer. Jae realized that she was shaking and sweating and took a deep breath.  She didn’t need to change while she was in the house with Simon and her anger had her feeling more wold than person.  She closed her eyes for a moment until she felt she had control again.

“I can’t just hunt with the pack when I feel like it and then come back and be human here.  I don’t understand it myself but Aedan told me that unattached females can cause the entire pack to become unstable.  If I want to hunt with them I have to choose a mate!  Jae’s voice rose on the last word and she started pacing again.  “I haven’t even had time to get used to being a wolf and now I’m supposed to be a wife too?”

Simon closed his eyes in thought.  “It seems to me that what you are needing from me is time alone to think some things through.”  He opened his eyes and waited until she stopped pacing and looked at him. “I have never lied to you Jae.  I’ve never intentionally left anything out.  It is what it is.  I can try to give help, but I can’t change anything. I wish could.”

Jae looked at Simon and knew he was being honest with her.  She could see in his eyes that he hurt for her.  She bowed her head.  “I’m sorry.  I’m so angry and I don’t know what to do!  Maybe you’re right. I need time to think.”

Simon stood and began packing things in a sack.  “I’ve needed to take a little trip for awhile.  It will give you time.  You are safe here and welcome to stay.  I will be back before the next full moon.”

“Simon.  Thank you and…I’m sorry.”

Simon took her hand.  “You have been strong and I am proud of you.  I have dealt with Aedan before.  He is a fair man and will answer your questions.  There must have been trouble in the pack for him to just throw this at you..”

Jae frowned. “I’ve never met him in human form.”

“Then maybe that is the answer.”  Simon kissed her forehead.  “Take care child.”

Jae was alone.  That night the howling started.  They were all around the house.  She could hear the clicking of their claws on the porch and they banged into the door.  She put out the lantern so they couldn’t see her and allowed her eyesight to adjust.  She rocked herself with her arms wrapped around her knees.  “Go away, go away, go away.” She whispered.

Just about the time Jae thought she would lose her mind, she heard growling and the sound of fighting.  There were yelps of fear and pain and then silence. At first the silence was a relief.  Then fear began to grow.  Would they come back?  What stopped them?

That was how she found herself in this corner.  Trying to hide from her life.  Angry and frozen inside.

For More Wolf Moon stories go here

Another Letter To The Editor

It would seem that both my children believe in freedom of expression in the press 🙂

Published June 24, 2010

I am a 2009 graduate of North Lamar High School, and am more than ecstatic for the One Act Play and softball team on their State Championships.

However, I am not at all thrilled with this city when it comes to academic recognition. There are students at North Lamar who have been crowned UIL State champions in debate for two years in a row. There are students who have made All State Band twice, and are only sophomores. Where is their recognition? Where is their city-wide rally celebration?

This town needs to get its head out of the sand and realize that these kids work just as hard as any athlete or actor, and deserve just as much recognition by not just the school or The Paris News, but by the City of Paris as a whole. If you’re going to honor one group of kids for being state champions, you need to honor them all.

Jessica Martin

Paris

Crossed Worlds

Three Word Wednesday: ignor, fear, weightless

Writers Island: Key

OneWord Crossed

Reading Emma Bulls War For The Oaks this week and totally captivated.

crossed over the edge of
under the hedge of
all the forest beyond
the dream the myst
mystical mystery of
all of the history blustery
weather don’t stop the mind
the words are there the chords
the player the dancer the
poet the singer the song
of all of the worlds crossed
stars tossed like leaves
on an autumn day but
we won’t speak of that
now for spring is in
the house and all around
the wings and sings of
birds and life abundant
greened by greenery
finery tweenery as they
come out of hiding
and if you listen most
carefully the key is what
we all will sing in ring
in summer nights of flights
of fireflies and warm shadow
dancing playing eventide
when lines are blurred and
sleep assured as eyes burn
to close but rest will come
sink down and hear
last notes clear pure
they come out and play
the day has ended and
their time begun
don’t fear the time of
year is always their ways
their flight weightless
fate the magic gathers all
together in the places crossed
meridian blinded sight
comes ignore what you see
it isn’t real the feel the chorus
every note for us the build
soars and roars and gathers all
the sky the star flung ceiling hall
harmony a million dreamers
screaming through the darkness
to this one center circled round
and hurled true hits you
the harmony the mark the core
love borne pride shorn
torn asunder

Numbers

It’s all about the numbers this week.  This is my 700th post.  More important than the number of post is the number of comments.  I can’t begin to say how grateful and baffled and encouraged I am from all the feedback.  It keeps me rolling and I hope that I give back at least a portion of what I get.  It’s truly a joy. (Tony when you helped me start this did you ever think it would become my obsession? Can’t let this go by without a thank-you and I can’t wait to hear about the class!)

Today we had our Teacher Appreciation celebration.  I have been in my current position for ten years and when I measure that by my kids it seems much longer than just counting.  My children were in elementary school when I started and are in college now.  That is a lot of living and changing. Next year we will be in the new high school so more changes on the horizon. I think the new building is going to be beautiful and it will be fun to start with everything new and shiny.

This week also marked our thirtieth wedding anniversary.  To my lurker hubby best friend who reads and sometimes edits for me – it’s been a helluva ride babe – hang on because the coaster is building up speed again – we’ll just hang on to each other in the curves and scream through the scary parts!

Peace

Surrender

Muravian comment riff

Surrender sense
feel them most always deeper
than the head washes over, under
through shifting sand
never gave you solid footing anyway
you just thought so too
much thinking not enough drinking
sinking into what if you can’t stand
you can always float
your boat is needing a paddle
what’s the matter as a hatter
but he’s a star these days so don’t be
late or your head will feel it deeper
sense is overrated so
surrender and feel waves
wash over hold your breath
for a second for a minute
for an eternity wash it down
worn smooth the river
stone warm in the sun
veins of quartz run
through and through
glinty shiny summer rays the
days come down forever

Tartan Festival

We spent the day in a pasture in Athens La. at the Northeast Louisiana Scottish Association Tartan Festival and here is a video of one of the bands.   The band is called Needfire and they are from Dallas.  Amazing. I could feel the didgeridoo vibrate in my chest.  We watched the fiddler completely wear out a bow.  I completely wore out my ankles tapping my feet and my hands ache from clapping.

The weather was perfect and I had a haggis plate for lunch.

My grandmother would have loved this.

I loved how in the middle of rocking things out they would all of a sudden throw Scotland The Brave on the pipes into the mix.  These guys had enough energy to power the lights in a small town.

Daughter gets credit for the photography 🙂

Also at the festival:

Alex Beaton

Smithfield Fair

Jed Marum


Kindle Fodder – ShapeShifter Demo Tapes

I woke this morning to a yard covered in snow and more falling.  The wind is blowing what is already there and I plan to keep my nose and all other parts inside in the warm today.  Spring?  Who knew?

Read an e-book week is over but I am still getting to know my Kindle and checking my mailbox for my prize from Nara Malone.  I filled my Kindle queue with several books from authors that sometimes hang out at some of the same places I frequent, such as Sunday Scribblings and Three Word Wednesday.

I just finished reading ShapeShifter, The Demo Tapes Year One and Year Two.  The Author, Susan Helen Gottfried, blogs at West Of Mars and I “met” her through Sunday Scribbling. I loved them!

Susan’s SS blogposts are outtakes that revolve around the story of ShapeShifter, a fictional rock band, the characters and their relationships and the situations they find themselves in. I had already been introduced to Mitchell and Trevor and the others but this it was fun to get to know them a little better, to see a bit of backstory, and catch up without having to scroll backwards through multiple blogposts. From her website:

The Demo Tapes were born out of the demand of the groupies who hang around the Meet and Greet. They are collections of short fiction that introduce you to Trevor, Mitchell, and the rest of the fictional band, ShapeShifter — as well as the world in which they inhabit.

Susan’s book, Trevor’s Song has not been published YET but I hope it will be – the Demo Tapes were enough to whet my appetite and make me want the full meal deal.  If you are a wanna-be band groupie or would just like to hang out from a distance click the picture of the books to go to a page that will show you how to get them for yourself, either in print or on your favorite e-reading device.

Now where did I put my ShapeShifter t- shirt?  It’s almost time for the concert….

If you can’t see the image – go here:  http://westofmars.com/west-of-mars/the-books/