Category Archives: Sunday Scribbling

Night Flight

Sunday Scribbling prompt: Beauty

“If you want to live, give me your hand.”

She crouched where she had fallen, her foot caught by a limb hidden under the snow.
She glared up at him. The dogs barking in the distance sounded closer than they had a few moments ago.

He looked down at her, hand outstretched. “Hurry!”

She reached up and he pulled her up behind him and they took off, him whispering to the horse now and then, urging him on.  She glanced behind and saw lights in the forest and heard the dogs.  They were flying through the trees now and the limbs were slapping her and her hair streaked out behind her as they moved with the wind.  She held him tighter though she was frozen and afraid her arms were too numb to know if they slipped from around his waist.  They sped east through the dusk as the sun was setting behind them.  She peered around him ahead and saw they were headed to a sheer cliff, the face rising high above them.  She could see no way around and he was not slowing his pace at all.  They were going to run into the solid rock!  She screamed at him “Are you insane? You’re going to kill us!” He just laughed and spurred the horse on faster.  “Hold on tight!” he yelled back at her and put his head down.  She laid her head down on his back and prayed. Ceana glanced up just as the horse leapt at the black rock.  She knew she was about to die so she closed her eyes and waited for the crash.

Seconds later they had landed on solid ground on the other side of the rock.  They had moved through it somehow!  Ceana opened her eyes slowly, afraid that she had passed over to the afterlife.  They were now racing along in a sunlit meadow.  The sun was warm and the wind was crisp and clean and She let go of him and held her arms straight out and lifted her face towards the beauty of the  sun.  Ceana was flying.  She laughed with the sheer joy of it.

Conall glanced back at her and knew with his entire soul, she was the one.

The Stone

One Word: cone Sunday Scribbling : Oracle

The cone shaped stone sat in the center of their village. It had been there as long as the oldest of them could remember.  No one knew where it came from but the old ones whispered and crossed themselves whenever they had to walk past it.

One summer night when the lightening was burning in the velvet sky with no rain in sight, the stone began to glow.  The villagers came one by one to stand around it, not getting too close but needing to see.  There was a crackling sound in their midst and the strange one who was new, came walking out of the crowd.  Her hair was standing straight out from her head and sparks were flying out from her.  Her eyes were black and staring at something only she could see.  They backed away leaving a wide path for her.

She was barefoot and as she approached the stone, runes appeared all over the surface.  When she was almost to it, light sprung from the runes as though it was filled with lightening itself.  She reached both hands to touch it and she and it burst into a cold white flame that died almost as soon as it flared up.  The light momentarily blinded the villagers who had backed off screaming and covering their eyes.

As their sight returned, they fearfully looked upon the spot where the rock had stood for hundreds of years.  The rock was completely gone and now the girl with the lightening hair was laying on the ground and the delicate pattern of the runes from the stone was imprinted on her skin in lavender and blue.  The girl moaned and sat up.  Her hair was now snow white but she looked unharmed.

“What happened?” she asked, but all turned and ran back to their houses leaving her there alone, except for a wee child. “What do you want?” she asked the child.  The child pointed to the stream and the girl walked to the edge and looked down.  In the moment when the lightening shot across the sky she looked at her reflection in the water and lifted a hand to her face to touch.  When she turned around, the child was gone.

Two Men and a Lady

Saturday Scribes: Theme – Complicated

Carry on Tuesday

Three Word Wednesday errant hanker murky
Sunday Scribbling : interview

It was almost too easy.  Sean had typed up his notes on the interview and now he had a hankering for one of Joe’s pulled pork sandwiches.  He went to the coffee pot and stared at the murky dregs.  This pot had been made hours ago and looked like it. He dumped it in the sink and got a fresh filter and filled it.  He wiped up some grounds that had spilled onto the counter.  He thought about the conversation he had last night with her.  She would certainly be hired once his report was turned in.  The moment he pushed send on the email with that report attached, he would be committed.  They had been dating for a few months and he looked back in wonder.  Meeting her was  an accident.  Pursuing a relationship was done with purpose, in fact, with a vengeance.  Now he had to think about the future.  Could the relationship survive working together?  Danielle had promised that her support would move him up and that she would be right there helping him. He was already working on a plan for her “departure” if she didn’t follow through.

Danielle stopped in the ladies room before her next appointment.  She knew that Sean was in the office below making his little plans, but she had a few of her own.  She touched up her make-up and pushed an errant strand of hair back.  She smoothed out her skirt and took one last backwards glance in the mirror.  Smiling in satisfaction, she followed the hall to the corner office where the head of purchasing worked.  She smiled at his secretary and gave her name.  As she stepped through the door and quietly closed it behind her, Sean’s boss stepped from around the desk and took her hands.  She kissed him and smiled.  “You should be getting the report on my interview any time now.”  George was in his seventies and the last stroke had caused him to limp a little.  He smiled back at her.  She was covering all her bases.  It would be tricky balancing the two of them but George never left his floor and Sean could be handled.

George knew that any reason a woman like Danielle would be interested in him would not be his good looks and charm.  He had passed that stage long ago.  Whatever the reason was, she had a few talents and he intended to take advantage of those.  He read the message behind those carefully made up eyes.  She had her own agenda and thought she held all the cards.  He knew she was stringing along that idiot downstairs. He figured she was planning to play them against each other.  What he lacked in stamina, he made up for in experience.  He knew directions to take this game that were not even on her map.

Adventure

Sunday Scribbling #187 prompt: adventure  One Word : clip

heading out
at a pretty good clip
we were young and prepared
so we thought
for the trip
they could bend us
not break us
or crush us
or shake us
we were young and prepared
so we thought
for the trip
but the road just got longer
and going got slower
and young and prepared
wasn’t always enough
the bending got painful
and we moaned and we cried
this ain’t what we paid for
this ain’t the right ride
and we found
that the ground
sometimes hurt
when we landed
we found that the sun
wasn’t always so sunny
we found that the turns
were quite sharp
when we spun out
The ups and downs were
lots higher and lower
and the hills got so steep
and the going got slower
but somehow the slowing
made way for the showing
of scenery that blurred
when we ran headfirst
and the slowing and showing
were the answers to questions
and questions for thinking
and loving and sinking
in sunsets and oceans
and summer deep starlight
in grieving and tears
and warm winter firelight
we finally saw
we finally learned
It’s not where we’re going
It’s all in the journey

Now back to nanowrimo 🙂

Shame On The Girls

Sunday Scribbling prompt: Shame

She peered at the sign on the door to make sure she was in the right place.  Dolores gingerly turned the knob and entered, quietly closing the door behind her.  The waiting room was empty, thank goodness.  She waddled across the burgundy and forest green carpet to the sliding glass window behind which the receptionist sat talking to someone on the phone.  She stood at the window impatiently tapping her foot until the girl glanced up, the beginning of a smile dying before it had a chance to be friendly.

She handed the plastic clipboard and attached pen to the big-haired woman and wondered if she was going to be one of “those”.

Dolores took the clipboard and signed her name with a flourish.  She handed the clipboard back to miss perky thing and sighing, demanded to know if appointments were on time today.  “Yes uh, Mrs. Wasserman” she replied, glancing at the clipboard.

Dolores rolled her eyes and mumbled something about hoping so and turned and minced to the bank of chairs.  She managed to squeeze her corseted derrière into the paisley upholstered seat,  She clutched her Coach bag to her and tried to keep her elbows from touching the arms of the chair.  One never knew what germs might be lurking on the surface in a doctor’s office.  Her dress was dark under her arms as she sweat from the effort of getting to the third floor office.  She would never forgive her sister for making the appointment to see the gynecologist. Sophie couldn’t believe it had been ten years since Dolores had been to the doctor but Dolores saw no point in throwing away good money when there was nothing wrong with her.  Now she was at this horrid place.  It was just as she suspected.  You go to one doctor and the next thing you know they have a hold of your wallet and won’t let go.  Now it was a breast exam. Her ladies doctor had set up the appointment and she was too mortified after that horrible event to say anything never mind ask questions.  She just wrote the check at the desk and took her appointment card and left as quickly as her chubby thighs would move her to the caddy.

Cindy got down a folder and began a new chart for Dolores Wasserman. Usually she liked working for Doctor Peterman and most of the patients were very nice ladies.  Cindy was pretty good at putting them at ease in what many women found to be a very uncomfortable situation.  She had been at this long enough to know that would not be the case with Mrs. Wasserman.  She had told Karen she could leave early since this would be the last appointment of the day.  Karen’s youngest was in middle school and seemed to disagree with the necessity of homework so Karen needed to have a conference with his teachers.  Cindy was half regretting the generous gesture now.  She dreaded handling Mrs; Wassermans’ huge breasts and knew she was going to have trouble getting them between the plastic plates on the mammography machine correctly.  Those big girls were not going to want to cooperate and Mrs. Dolores was not going to be graceful about it, no sir.  Oh well, the chart was made and the last patient signed out so she the sooner she got her back there, the sooner it would be over with and she could finish up reports and go home.  She would have just enough time to change clothes and fix her makeup before Tyler picked her up for the movie.  That thought cheered her up.  Tyler was hot and nice too. Maybe he would get lucky tonight, she thought to herself with a smile.

She got up and waved to Dolores, pointing to the door to the right of the window. Dolores heaved herself up out of the chair and waddled to the door.  She held the knob with a kleenex covered hand and followed Cindy to a room behind the office.  Cindy told her to take off all her clothing above the waist and put on the gown on the shelf in the room.  Dolores peered into the pink room and sniffed.  It looked like a bottle of pepto bismol had been shaken and sprayed all over the room.  It literally dripped pink.  She untied the bow on the front of the silk blouse and shimmied out of it.  Unhooking the straps on her brassiere, she peeled it down and twisted it around so she could get to the hooks and eyes.  She carefully folded it and laid it on the shelf next to the hook where she had hung her blouse.

She eyed the pink flamingo covered gown with disdain as she unfolded the cotton nightmare and wrapped it around herself, struggling with the snaps and ties.  There was no mirror and for once she was relieved.  Dolores was certain the whole disgusting ensemble was anything but flattering.  She clasped her pocketbook to her chest, trying to hide behind it as she slipped out the door, peering both ways.  Cindy was out in the hall waiting for her.  Dolores followed the petite blond to a room near the end of the hall.  Cindy began to explain the procedure to her, but she interrupted her saying that she was not a complete idiot, she had read the pamphlet the doctor gave her, thank you very much and could they just get on with it?

Cindy sighed and helped Dolores position herself in front of the machine.  Dolores angrily undid the ties on the front and scooched up as far as possible.  Even so, it was difficult to get her breast placed on the plate and Cindy had to help smush and push to get it into place.  Dolores huffed and closed her eyes unable to believe the indignity of it all.  They repeated the whole process for the other breast and finally it was done.  Cindy said the doctor would call her at the end of the week with the results and Dolores walked off before she was finished talking.  Dolores hurried to the changing room and put her clothing back on.  She left the stupid gown on the floor and grabbed her purse.  She stopped long enough at the desk to write a check and without so much as a go to hell, turned on her heel and stalked out of the  office.  Cindy could have told her that her dress was tucked into the back of her panty hose but the sight of her large posterior bumping away so mesmerized her that the unpleasant woman was out the door before she could get the words out.  She could barely breath for a moment and then burst out laughing.

She finished up her last charts and went to the back to make sure the plates were hung on the light box for the doctor.  She turned on the light and looked at the images.  Suddenly she wasn’t so excited about going out that night.  She was no radiologist but she had seen enough of these to know that the news for Mrs. Wasserman was not going to be good.

Sunday Scribbling Junk

Sunday Scribbling prompt – junk

There is a lot of junk rattling around in this head.  Time to clean house.  Maybe if I throw open the windows and sweep out the dust, I can see what is here and pick what to keep and what to let go.  There is a lot to let go of, but before I start cleaning I have to go back a ways.  Back when this head was calmer and neater.  Back before so much junk crept in and made itself at home in corners and up on shelves where I didn’t notice until it was too late.  So much stuff in piles that I can’t see what might be good hidden under what is unusable, unwanted, and just taking up space.  Stuff that more than fills the head up, changing the landscape (or headscape) so that the colors and design are no longer what I want.  They are controlling me instead of the other way around.

That pile over there in the back corner?  That’s the old family stuff.  I tried getting rid of that years ago but it has the best hang time of anything in here.  There’s a box of guilt on the bottom.  It has always been under everything else in the pile. See that right there?  There is that secret time I was nice on the outside but the inside was all black and tarry mean.  There’s a bunch of that in there.  There are the shiny times too but that guilt can tarnish anything it gets near.

That big book of disappointments you see over on the left side?  If you open it you will see that it’s got dividers for categories.  There is the disappointed by others section and the part where I do the disappointing. The big fat section that makes up the whole front of the book?  That’s where I disappointed myself.  That’s the part that keeps growing.

This untidy lavender room holds small piles of misunderstanding everywhere!  They are all different colors and if I had taken the time to wind them up and put them away, they might not have gotten so out of hand.  Now they are unraveling all over the place and I constantly trip over them.  There’s some of the acting without thinking kind, some of the speaking without thinking kind, and some of the losing my temper without thinking kind.  Beginning to see a pattern?

Turn around and look on the right side.  That’s where I keep all the changes made to please others.  The discarded parts, that I thought I gave up.  I forgot them for the longest, but lately, I’ve been taking them out and polishing them off. I may just take some down from the shelf and see if they still work.  I wonder why I thought I had to put them away in the first place?

I find pieces of memory in every pile, on every surface, and even hanging from the ceiling.  As I rummage through the items that were discarded, I find some jewels that shine even through the dust and dirt from the years. Some make me giggle and others make dirty gray furrows of wet down my grimy face and I have to put them back to look at later.  Some I hold so tightly, loving the lost that is found.  Pictures of old friends and family scattered over the years.

There are a few insights scattered amid the detritus.  Epiphanies for me, even though they might have been well known by you.  Where I got damaged, when I shone, and why.  What makes my vision unique.  Why I cry whenever I hear that one song – you know the one.

No problem deciding what to do with that trunk full of minor irritations.  It has gotten way too heavy and I stub my toe on it several times a day.  I’ll start sacking that up right away.  Straight to the curb – no need to send that to the Salvation Army.  No one needs more of that.

That old trashcan over there?  The heavy duty one that looks like it could hold a lot?  I used to carry that around all the time, offering to hold any garbage others might want to throw in there.  I still carry one around sometimes but I just can’t carry as much these days so I swapped it for that little plastic one.  Maybe someday I can put it down for good. I have enough of my own garbage.
It’s looking a little better in here.  Sometimes you have to do a bit of work to see through the junk that covers up the treasures.  Clean it off, give it a coat of paint, remove the rotten parts and sand off the rough spots.  I’ll keep some of my junk, thank you very much.  It is mine after all and some of it gives the place character.  I’m starting to like it.  Maybe I’ll just rest here awhile.

Boogie Man

Snowbie Joe had never run so fast or so long in his whole life and right now he wished he had always been a runner.  Maybe then he could have outrun them.  He laid down in the corn field trying to make himself as small as possible as he heard the shiners making another pass. As they went over, slowly, with the spot light falling all around he prayed they didn’t see him.  For the few moments until they moved off into the distance they drowned out the whispers the dried out corn shucks made as the wind from their down draft moved through.

When it was dark again, he heaved himself up and took off again.  The only noise now, the corn rustling and his own ragged breath.  It was bone cracking cold and the patched and taped rags he used for a coat were better than nothing, but not by much.  He thought about gloves as he ran.  Gloves and boots.  Back in the day before the shiners came and the lights went out, he used to have gloves.  Now his hands froze all the time and even the tiny cuts and scratches from the corn field hurt like the dickens.

If he wasn’t already out of breath, Snowbie Joe would have breathed a sigh of relief.  The shiners had moved off.  He was safe to move for awhile, at least from them.. No telling what else was out there.  It was harder alone but his clan had been killed. Not his family. That was the first thing the carders put a stop to.  Separate folks and isolate them, that’s the way they played.  If he still had family out there he had no idea how to find them and it would just be dangerous for them anyway.  The carders might have separated families but folks still grouped up.  This stray and that one, strength in numbers.  Now he was alone again.

Rollie who stayed fat no matter how hungry they got, Tommy who was little, but fast and could get in and grab supplies and be gone before anyone knew what had happened.  Sarah Jane who still had vestiges of the beauty she must have been at one time til the hunger and sickness ravaged her face.  Pa Tom who’s gift was keeping the stories and teaching the younger ones to read and write.  All gone and their hidey hole too.  It hadn’t been much but it was warm and dry and they had added to it over the months.  They had several ways to get to it and never used the same way twice, but they must have gotten complacent and someone saw them. Either that or they had been ratted out.  If they got you, you would tell ’em something just to make them stop.  No good making something up.  They would check it out and come back for more, even worse if they figured you lied.  Didn’t do you no good though.  No one ever came out if they took you in to the citadel.

He blew on his fingers and slowed to a walk.  He was tired, cold, and hungry and he knew he needed to find somewhere to hole up and get a little sleep.  “Oh God!  What was that?” he thought.  Bump bump.  Bump bump.  He spun around trying to figure out where the sound was coming from.  Bump Bump.  He held his breath, there it was, over to the left.  He ducked down and tried not to move or breath.  It was getting closer.  He was squeezing down trying to hide when this thing burst through the shucks.  It was the weirdest thing Snowbie Joe had ever laid eyes on and he had seen some weird stuff.  A three wheeled bike with tools and plastic dwarves and kites and buckets hanging off every  surface.  Big goofy guy riding it wearing what looked like a pair of night goggles.

“Hey dude!  What are you doin way out here in the cornfield? Aren’t you cold mister?”  He grinned at Snowbie Joe, questions running on quicker than he could answer.  Even if he hadn’t been dumbfounded he wasn’t sure he could have gotten the words out.  What words would he have used?  “We gotta get out of here mister.  There’s dogs come round after dark.  You stand on the back and I’ll get us there in two shakes.” He said grinning his big goofy grin.  “Two shakes is this many!” he said holding up two gloved fingers. Gloves! Must be some kind of sign, he thought.

Still, Snowbie wasn’t about to just climb on even though he figured the big guy was one of the harmless ones.  Carders left the defectives alone, figuring that natural selection would take over.  Long as they didn’t cause any trouble they ignored them.  “Do you live by yourself?” Snowbie asked the big guy.  “No, man.  I got pets!” he said grinning.  “But no people, mister.  I ain’t got no people.”  Now he looked like he was gonna cry.  “Mister we really gotta go, the dogs’ll be out soon.  Come on, I ain’t gonna hurt ya.” Snowbie climbed on the back and the big guy took off pedaling.

“What’s your name?” He asked the big guy.  He had to call him something.  Most people wouldn’t tell their name but the big guy just grinned and said “Boogie Man, mister.  What’s yours?”  Snowbie told him and asked him how he came by his name.  “I didn’t know what my name was for the longest time.  Nope, a long, long time.  I was living in town for awhile and some kids were throwing rocks at me and told me to go away, – they didn’t want the Boogie Man hanging round.  I was kinda mad, but kinda glad they knew who I was.  Yes sir, that’s me – Boogie Man.” Snowbie Joe grinned and then felt the grin just melt away as the sadness of it all sucked everything out of him.  Poor big fella, amazing he had lived this long.

He asked Boogie where they were going and Boogie told him just up ahead were some trees.  They would have to get off the bike once they got there and pull it over some logs, but he had found a cave.  Snowbie was still nervous but he knew he had to get warm soon.  They got to the woods and Snowbie helped Boogie carry the bike a ways and about the time he thought he couldn’t walk anymore, Boogie told him to stop.  Snowbie was disoriented from traveling in nearly pitch dark so he stood still while the big guy moved something and told him to wait a minute.  Then he told him to come on and they pushed the bike up a bit further.  Boogie moved around behind him now and he heard sounds like something being pushed.  “Just one more minute mister and we’ll be able to see.”

He looked around blinking.  Boogie was holding a lantern and and his night goggles in his hand, waiting to see Snowbie’s reaction.  He had bushy red hair and freckles. Snowbie was speechless for a minute.  There were pictures of all kinds and pieces of junk on every possible surface.  Store mannikins sat around a big piece of log that served as a table.  Old Coca Cola signs with pictures of Santa Claus, a stuffed walrus, and Christmas garland.  Street signs and coffee cans, all kinds of crazy things.  He looked at Boogie. who had his lower lip poked out and looked like he would burst into tears any minute.  “You don’t like my decorations do you?” he asked.  Snowbie grinned at him.  “Boogie your place is wonderful, but we need to eat.  Have you got any food?”

Boogie smiled his big goofy smile.  “Lands yes!” he said.  He went to the back of the cave and opened a trapdoor.” “Lands yes!”  He said again and waited for Snowbie Joe to come look.  In the hole under the crude cover was a stash of canned goods.    He smiled at Boogie and reached for a can of stew.  Boogie turned to a pit and busied himself getting a fire going.  Snowbie sat down by the fire and Boogie took the can and opened it and put it in a big pot he sat on a grate over the flames.    They ate their fill and then Snowbie Joe walked around the cave until he stopped in front of a mannikin that was wearing a pair of red insulated gloves.  He reached out and touched the gloves.  “Mister you want those gloves you can have them.” Boogie said, grinning again.  “That lady don’t need em.  Lands no.”  Snowbie turned back to Boogie with tears in his eyes.  Maybe this would be the start of a new clan for Snowbie Joe.

Snowbie Joe thanked Boogie and carefully took the gloves off the mannikin and put them on his own hands.  He curled up by the fire, belly full and warm for the first time in weeks.  He was asleep in no time.  Boogie covered him up with an old blanket and laid down on the other side of the fire.  “Goodnight, mister.”  he said, and fell asleep with the grin still on his face.

First Kiss

wisteria_blackdragonSimon had grown over the winter.  Spring revealed someone caught somewhere between a boy and a man, trying to grow into longer limbs and a voice not his own.  He and Nuala had met throughout the long winter, walking in the snow to a sheltered grotto.  He had built a fire pit and they would huddle next to the fire and tell their secrets.  One night Nuala stood next to the fire and threw some herbs and stones into the fire and brightly colored sparks soared into the air.  She closed her eyes and began to sing a song in words he had never heard.  She spoke of the moon and sadness to come and then sat and wept.  He didn’t know what to do so he just sat with her until she grew quiet again.

The cold and sadness seemed far away now. He walked a little faster and his heart was beating a little harder as it always did when he was going to see her.

He had never thought of himself as anything special, but through her eyes, he was a magical slayer of dragons, a mage with the wisdom of the ages, a healer, a king.  He would never understand how he had been so lucky to find her, but she made him want to be more.

Hands went around his face and covered his eyes as he walked along the bank of the stream.  “Who could this be?  he asked laughing.  He whipped around and her hands came loose, and as he spun, he was face to face with her, just inches between them.  She had Tiger lilies woven into her hair, as though a crown and the sun made her brown eyes sparkle.

She took his hand and they continued walking along the bank.  Shafts of sunlight wandered down through the trees and the birds were singing.  She turned, pulling him with her into the trees and he followed as she led.

The forest became thicker and they had to step over fallen trees and push aside underbrush.  He asked no questions, just held on to her hand and went where she went.  They came into a clearing he had never seen before.  Purple wisteria climbed high into the trees and turned the clearing into a chapel.  Every trunk, limb, rock was draped in purple, perfuming the air.  Simon craned his neck around, taking it all in.  It was a magical place, a gift Nuala shared with him.  She held both his hands and they spun around and around as the birds provided music for their dance.  They nearly collapsed laughing and dizzy.

He reached out to remove a sprig of grass from her cheek and she froze in place.  He leaned forward and gently touched his lips to hers.  The forest went completely silent.  For a moment there was nothing in the world but them. She stood very still and when he drew back, neither said a word.  There was no need.  There would be more winters and sadness would come as it comes to all of us.  For now, there was spring and flowers and a first kiss, and love warm moving across their lives as sure as the spring moved on to summer.

The Cheese Stands Alone

Yesterday I was honored to participate in a fund raising walk for the Juvenile Diabetes Research Foundation. It was a beautiful day and there was a great turn out. There was moment at the beginning when they had live music and speakers and the chairwoman of the family teams spoke. At her side were several children from her team, one of which was her daughter who had been diagnosed with diabetes two years ago – at the age of three. I had one of those moments where you stop noticing the sound around you and all I was aware of was this precious girl who was grinning and mugging for the jumbotron. I was remembering my children at the age of three and trying to imagine what it would be like to try to explain what was happening to a toddler. If you go to youtube and put jdrf in the search box you will find multiple videos of kiddos and their stories. If you do go there be prepared to have your heart broken and changed. My story below is made up, and I have no statistics for you, but I know that diabetes is on the rise in the country. Every year it seems there are more and more students at school for whom the sticks, dietary restrictions, and insulin administration are a part of their daily routine. I have witnessed the other end of a life lived under the control of this disease. When Dale was on dialysis and I would sit with him sometimes at the center, and most of the patients undergoing treatment were diabetics. Some were obviously sick.  some teased and joked and their spirits overflowed to those around them. Kidney failure, blindness, amputated feet, coronary problems, all related to the disease – all part of their experience.  I got to know other spouses and caregivers. We shared worries, concerns, ideas for feeding our spouses.

Pray for a cure. Pray for the kids. Pray for their families.

*~*~*~*

He stared up into the night sky. If he could only see far enough, the entire cosmos, spread out beyond his imagination, which was formidable, maybe the answers would become clear. For now, all he could do was close his eyes to the tiny lights and shut out all the pain, as if he could or would. His little girl, one minute laughing and full of promise, infinite as those stars, now threatened and having to endure daily pain.

What would her future be? Would she have a future? Was it his fault? Why would God do this to her. He would gladly take it on if it meant she could go back to the life she had just yesterday. His wife was better at this than he was. She cried, but she did it alone in the shower, where Emma wouldn’t see. When she was with Emma, she held her sorrow in and worked every minute to make sure that we were checking her blood glucose levels, that we had the carbs counted and food servings figured out to make adjusting easy. Easy. That was a word that didn’t figure in their vocabulary anymore. Every activity that they did, any trip away from the house, meant being prepared for any eventuality that might present itself.

They had gone to a birthday party that day. Emma had her crackers, and they went to the car for her stick and to do her insulin injection. Later the kids were playing Farmer In The Dell and as the song came to a close, he thought. “The cheese stands alone.” Even in this group of happy children, maybe more so, His Emma was like the cheese. She looked like every other child on the outside. She ran and played and laughed. But under it all, on the inside, she WAS the cheese. She stood alone.

Emma cried at the sticks. Her little eyes would tear up and she would whimper. “No sticks daddy, no sticks!” but she held still and let them stick her anyway as though some part of her was resigned to them hurting her. That look of resignation hurt him more than any screaming she could have done. He drew in a breath and thought sternly “Enough! Suck it up! If she can do it, you can do it. ” He pushed himself off the lawn chair as his wife came out the back door. She too stared at the night sky. Her arm went around him and she laid her head on his shoulder. “Emma is asleep.” she said.

He looked down at her. “Can we do this?” he asked.

She looked up at him and he could read the answer in her eyes. There was no choice. She was our Emma. Insulin is not a cure, but it keeps her alive. We would do whatever it takes until a cure is found.

Amen

Nissa Meets Simon

One Word prompts yesterday and today: oak and shower

Sunday Scribbling prompt: hunger

Nissa woke to rain dripping off the leaves of the ivy that had grown lovingly around the giant old oak.  She had curled up in the cradle made by roots that had wandered out and down through the cool dirt.  Leaves that had fallen over years and velvety moss had made this a favorite summer spot to daydream.  Daydream and watch the old man work his garden.  She had spent more and more time here lately.  Her mum had changed and while she was never mean, she was just sort of not there.  Nissa couldn’t really put a name on it, she frightened her.  She used to sing while she worked and she would hug Nissa and chase her around the yard laughing, more like a sister than a mother.

These days she just went through the motions.  The house was clean and supper was cooked, but she never smiled or sang and when she wasn’t working she would sit at the table and stare at the fire as though she were waiting for something.  She never spoke unless you asked her a question.  Nissa shivered though the shower that had blown up wasn’t cold.  She sat up and  scooted up closer to the trunk where she could watch the rain but stay dry . The smell of the rain on the dirt, honeysuckle from somewhere nearby, and the wet herbs in the garden filled her nostrils and she closed her eyes and breathed it in.  She felt much better out here, away from the house and her mother and whatever it was that seemed to be hanging over their heads like a dark and heavy cloud.

She heard a door shut and opened her eyes.  The old man was sitting on the porch with a bowl and hunk of bread.  Her mouth started to water and she realized that it had been hours since breakfast. “Are you hungry girl?” said the old man. “There is plenty if you will come sit.”

She hesitated.  She always felt safe and peaceful here and her instincts had never brought her harm.  She liked coming here and if he told her to stay away she would have nowhere else to go.  She weighed all that against her empty belly and stood up and walked to his porch.  “You are Nissa.” He said.  She jerked her head up in surprise.  He had not only known she was there but he knew her name as well!  “I am Simon.”  he said and he held out a bowl of stew to her.  She took the bowl, thanking him and he gestured to a seat and another piece of bread.  She sat down and they ate in silence.  She mopped up the rest of the liquid in her bowl with the last of her bread and sighed in contentment..  Simon handed her his bowl and asked her to set them in the washpan in the house.

She stepped in the room and it took a moment for her eyes to adjust and then they widened in curiosity?  Delight?  She didn’t know where to look first!  There were drawings and stuffed birds, carvings and odd stones of all shapes and colors.  She remembered she was holding the bowls and carefully put them in the tub of water.  She backed towards the door, wishing to explore but not wanting to be rude.  “Who was this Simon?” She wondered.

When she stepped outside, Simon had his eyes closed and his head leaned up against the wall,  The rain had stopped and the sun showed wrinkled skin, translucent and almost glowing from within in the sunlight.  His white hair was long but braided and he smelled like Rosemary.  She sat down in the sun near him and he began to tell her about the plants in his garden.  She had been watching him tend them, trimming some that got too adventuresome and pulling weeds from around others that seemed to prefer their space.  He often hummed and sometimes spoke quietly as he cared for them.

“There is a heartbeat to the earth and if you listen carefully, you will hear it beating in a garden.  The seasons have a rhythm all their own and the earth will speak to you.  Whatever you give, you get back so much more.”  He told of plants that were for healing, plants that made food taste better, and some that were for love and beauty.

“I like the ones you can eat, the best.” Nissa told him.  Simon smiled and said that the earth would feed more than just your belly.   “That may be so,” Nissa said, “but it’s hard to think of anything else if you are hungry.”  She looked away from him as she said it.

“Then you may come to this garden anytime you wish.” Simon said.

“Will you teach me how things grow?” she asked..

“Yes child, but it is work and you have to be willing.” He smiled seeing more than she knew.  Simon saw that she was strong and brave and would not be able to resist a challenge. He had dreamed of a child for the last few nights, and of something dark that she was running from.  He couldn’t see clearly yet, just what it was. He only knew that he must help her and that he had to go slow so that whatever it was would not awaken before he had taught her enough to help him defeat it.

“I can do anything you ask me to do.” she said proudly and maybe a bit defensively.  She had her chin stuck out as though she was daring him to disagree.  Simon just smiled and said “Then I shall see you tomorrow.”  Though she didn’t want to, she squared her shoulders and headed towards her home.  She didn’t want him to know how scared she was of going back to her mother and she was afraid that he would find out that something was wrong there and send her away.  She would show him that she could help.  She would make herself indispensable and then he would never send her away and she would have a place to go, to be, to grow.  She even whistled a bit on the way home.  The sound died on her lips as she reached the house.  She quietly slipped around back and through the window into her room so that she wouldn’t have to see the vacant stare in her mother’s eyes.  She quietly wrapped herself in her quilt and as the sky grew dark, she huddled in the corner of her bed and finally fell into a troubled sleep.

Anger

Sunday Scribbling #180, Carry On Tuesday #17, Three Word Wednesday, One Word: Corner

Piled them up and this is what I sifted out, with a little inspiration from posts by Quin and Paschal.

Disarmed by
the sudden guilt
anger dissolved
this time
just now, this minute
don’t speak
but later
no grace, no forgive, give
me mayhem mr. sandman
ain’t no sleeping tonight
voices engage
the shots fire over heads and
sometimes
hit the mark
hit the heart
play a  tattoo
beating on, beating up
beaten down
the poets rhymed it
the storytellers made it
their own
we all live it
danger, falling bricks, rocks
stones and sticks
and names can hurt, can paint
themselves on our skin
til only a faded shadow scar
barely seen
but heard round the corner
round the life

Would I, Could I?

Wings_by_bigmanhaywoodSunday Scribbling prompt: Tattoo

that door slammed shut years ago
but if I could, should
would I
wings, angel
amethyst butterfly
both. one becoming if it listens
to the other
nothing big that needs
to be grown into.
not to be seen
secretly known
a reminder
the butterfly is always changing
beauty fragile
fleeting powder jewels
of shimmer color
dance in the air
no touching
damaged, thinned
bruised but still alive
trading one set of wings for another
if it glistens, listens
to the right shoulder

my spirit would

What’s The Key?

Three Word Wednesday, One Word and Sunday Scribbling all rolled up.

The Minus is loveless
He talks to the land
And the leaves fall
And the pond over-ices
She don’t know the system, Plus
She don’t understand
She’s got all the wrong fuses and splices
She’s not going to fix it up
Too easy

Joni Mitchell

Go to the back of the book014
Finger lickin down the index
the revelation is the key
Faces, faceless words
shot through wires
slip in the door, in the chair
sit down stand up
push the buttons, the red, the green
the big one twice
minus the answers plus troubles plenty
you want answers
she ain’t got them, they’re in the mist
the twist, under the bradford pear trees
watercolor washed sky behind
he got answers?
all those words and not one question
shooting at me, glare past me
I got your questions right here
open the box
anything there?
box to box ain’t heart to heart
if it’s just boxes
we’re going down in a blaze baby
disappearing
the apple has lost it’s luster
there’s a worm
two miles later
I’m laying it down
Go back to the book
the back of the book
finger lickin down the index
the revelation is the key

No idea where the image is from so if you happen by and it belongs to you, drop me a comment and I will remove it.

The Core

Sunday Scribbling Prompt: Poetry

Come in
This far, right here
no farther
you think you know?
this be the bathwater
not the baby
peel off layers, you will get
nothing but a mess on the floor
this part, this heart
this tiny place, unknowable
mine, I keep it
Scrape the outside raw
you ain’t touching it, you couldn’t
not in a million tries
a million lies
no kryptonite here
no magic dagger to pierce
no map.
disconnected, unplugged, off
the grid
mercurial
All you get
a glimpse, a peek, a hint
like a stream
direction changes
but the water still flows where it will

Simon Remembers

Sunday Scribbling prompt #177: Adult and One Word Destination

“Simon – run along and play, I’ve work to do,”  Mum brushed a damp strand of hair back from her forehead.  There were good smells coming from the pot on the fire and she was sweeping yesterdays dust out the door.

“Yes mum.” he called as he jumped over her broom laughing and ran out into the sunshine.  He waved at his Da out in the garden as he ran past and headed to the woods.  It was a warm day and the cool shade was beckoning.

He followed the path he had worn through the trees to the creek and tossed stones at turtles sunning on a log as boys will do.  He watched as they left their log and dove into the cool water. He found a great crooked stick and carried it with him, whacking trees and plants as he walked along.  He ventured farther than he usually did, lost in daydreams.

The sound of singing came to his ears and he changed direction to get closer and see where it was coming from.  As he climbed through bushes he saw a place where the sunlight slipped between the leaves and bathed a small clearing in golden light.  A girl sat with a hat of many colors on her head.  He slipped closer, hidden by trees and his eyes widened with wonder.  He started to make the sign to ward off evil but something told him there was no evil here.

What he first thought to be a hat was butterflies of all kinds, covering her hair and back which was turned to him.  Her arms were held out from her sides and sparrows and larks and robins flew in and landed and flew off again, fearless and singing.  Her melody seemed at one with the birds and the light fell all around her like a warm blanket.

He stood very still and silent, just watching.  The girl looked to be about his age, with long brown hair and a flower chain around her neck.  She stopped singing and turned smiling. “Come out boy.” she said.

Simon stepped out from behind his tree and stood staring.  “What is your name?” she asked him.  “I am Simon Brennan.  Who are you?”

“I am called Nuala” she said.  “Come and sit with me, Simon ‘of sorrow’ and the butterflies will cheer you.”

Simon quietly walked over and sat beside her, amazed that the butterflies didn’t leave.  They seemed to sense that she was a safe haven.  “Are those apples, you have in your tunic?” she asked.

Simon had found an apple tree in his ramblings and picked a few and tied them up in his tunic to eat later.  He nodded and took them out.  Polishing one on his britches, he held it out to her.  “Thank you.” she smiled at him again and he felt like her smile was warmer than the sun.  It seemed to light her from the inside and he felt as safe as the butterflies.  They sat and shared apples and told each other many things.

“Are you Sidth?” Simon asked her.  He had heard stories of Faeries but had never really believed in them,.  At least til now.  He would have believed anything of her.  “No,” she laughed. “I’m as human as you, Simon.”

“Then how do you call the creatures to you and they have no fear?”  He asked.  She told him that you have to be as quiet in your heart and let the magic of the world come through.  He didn’t really understand but it didn’t matter.  He would listen as long as she would speak.

Simon and Nuala met most days for the rest of that summer.  It was the last summer they would truly be children as trouble and adulthood would soon come to them in the valley.  For these days, at least, sunshine, apples, and the beginnings of true love carried them through the season.

As Simon woke from the dream, he felt again the fullness of heart that had been his as a young man.  No matter the destination and the sadness that eventually came to pass, he would never regret those days for they had brought him Nuala and the love that had lasted throughout his life, from that forest all the way to the moon and back.

The Banquet

Sunday Scribbling Prompt #176 – Fantasy Dinner Party

for my writing friends – I am back at work and may not get to participate much this first few weeks.  I’ll try to visit when I can.

All week this prompt stayed in the back of my mind at work and I kept thinking about a Joni Mitchell song that I love.

Banquet

“I took my dream down by the sea
Yankee yachts * and lobster pots and sunshine
And logs and sails
And Shell Oil pails
Dogs and tugs and summertime
Back in the banquet line
Angry young people crying

Who let the greedy in
And who left the needy out
Who made this salty soup
Tell him we’re very hungry now
For a sweeter fare
In the cookie I read
“Some get the gravy
And some get the gristle
Some get the marrow bone
And some get nothing
Though there’s plenty to spare”

Joni Mitchell

hungry
I fell asleep on the train.  On my way home from the city, my thoughts were on the people I saw on corners, hanging out in alleys, pushing a shopping cart filled with things others had thrown away.  I was tired and depressed.  I laid my head against the window and let the clickety clack lull me and all of a sudden I was in a huge banquet hall.  Gentlemen in black tuxes told me to hurry, every one is waiting!  I followed them, confused but unable to stop.

We went to the front doors and flung them open.  There outside the door was a line as far as I could see, at least five deep!  Children, old people, dressed in raggedy clothes, but smiling.  We unhooked one of those velvet ropes and stood aside as they poured in and took their placed in the banquet line.

“How will we ever feed all these people?” I asked one of the men.  He just smiled and pointed towards the tables.  As dishes were emptied, servers came with platters and bowls heaped up and running over.  Mashed potatoes, fresh vegetables, pies and cakes.  I saw children grinning with plates full of hot dogs and hamburgers and ice cream.  I saw adults with turkey and ham and green beans and bread.  As they passed through the line they moved to an area in the back to dine at tables covered in white linen, silver, and crystal.

The tables seemed to fill up with people but there was always room and always plenty of food.  I watched as a little girl with one arm was helped by an older boy.  Her dress was too big and her spindly legs were dirty .  She was barefoot.  He would point to foods and she would nod or shake her head.  Only when her plate was filled and she was seated did he return to the line to fill his own plate.  He started to pass to the end of the line and a man in a stained coat, torn ski cap socked down over stringy hair, smiled and gestured for him to get in line ahead of him.  The line still seemed to go on forever.  Every color, every kind of dress, the only common denominator besides their humanity was their poverty.  I kept watching, though my eyes were burning from unshed tears, and I realized that there was another commonality.  They were kind to each other.

“Why am I here?” I thought about my day and the people I had seen.  The invisible ones.  The lonely, forgotten ones.  I had gone through my life not seeing and now I would not be able to look away.  I took a pitcher of water and moved among the tables, refilling glasses.  I cleared tables as some moved on to make room for others and long into the night the dinner went on and on.  My legs were tired but I wanted to go on forever, watching them all take their fill and share with each other.  Breaking bread and breaking walls.  I felt a shaking sensation and I tried to shrug it away.

I was awake.  There were tears on my face and the train was pulling in to the station.  Why are there hungry people?  I thought about all the things we chase after.  The new camera, newer car, bigger house.  And all the while there is a child going to sleep with an empty belly.  I wished the dream was real.  I would want to be at that feast.

photo by http://www.flickr.com/photos/imranchaudhry/

Simon Tells A Tale

Totally Optional Prompts offered color for inspiration and it had been sitting in the back of my mind for a couple of days and Sunday Scribblings prompt is New in honor of Laini who is anxiously awaiting the birth of her baby. One Word Prompt: Geese

Simon was slowly regaining his health.  Word had spread in the valley that he had returned and soon folks would “pass by” to get a glimpse.  As he got stronger he would take his staff and wander around his house in the afternoon sun.  He would rest when he was tired and as he sat on a bench in front of his house the children came and sat around him and begged for stories.

“Shh” he said with his finger to his lips and a twinkle in his eyes.  “If you get still I will tell you how our valley came to be so beautiful”.  The children scooted up closer and waited expectantly.

Once a beautiful lady lived in a house at the end of the lane.  She had magic that caused animals to be friendly and she loved this valley more than anything.  One day, he began…

“Tsk Tsk, this will never do.” she said as she stepped out on the porch.  The vista before her was all black and white and gun metal gray.  She picked up her box of supplies and walked into the scene.  On one side of her walked a lion and on the other a lamb.

She reached into the box and drew out her favorite brushes and began to paint.  She took blue and white and mixed the perfect shade of sky and  using wide strokes, applied light and air and wispy swirls of cloud. She took a tiny detail brush and with just a few flicks, birds wheeled and twirled.  “That’s better.” she thought.  Fine lines in the distance and suddenly geese flew in formation. The lion swished his tail and she nodded and smiled, “you’re right, we need to plan for morning and night.” and she added bright orange and deep rose in the west for the sunset to find and midnight blue so the night would have a place to hang the moon and stars. Lavender and pink blended in the east to invite the sun to rise.

The lamb nudged her with it’s nose and she nodded in agreement. She dipped her fan brush in the forest green and painted in towering pines, dabbing with black and gold for shadow and light, little brown pine cones to finish them off.  Now for some oaks and elms.  Bushes and shrubs and grasses to cover the earth and give the smaller animals something to nibble on.  She looked around at her work and was happy.

She took browns and golds and reds and gave the dreary houses clothing that warmed them and made yellow light to spill out of windows with blue curtains waving in the breeze.

“That’s so much better.” she told the lion and  lamb.  One last thing to be done.  She took her pen and drew loving and peaceful words over the first house and an angry argument ended.  Lullaby lyrics written into the next house and a fussy babe slept.  A poem from the street and the an artist sitting at his desk began to write.

She turned and as she wandered back to her home she sang softly and tree branches sighed in the wind, birds sang, and insects spoke of the changing seasons.  Her supply box was lighter and so was her step.  She reached her porch and set the box down and settled into her rocking chair.  Her friends curled on the porch at her feet, sleeping peacefully.  The gray was still there, but love had painted over it with beauty and the world was new with magic.

She grew sleepy and as she dozed, the shadows grew longer and night fell.  The darkness was so jealous of the colors she brought that it locked her in the moon and that’s where she lives to this day.

The children all clapped and didn’t notice the sadness in Simon’s eyes when he finished the tale.  “Go home children, your mothers will be calling you for supper.” he told them and stiffly got to his feet.  The children wandered home calling out goodbyes as they went.  They would look out their windows in wonder that night.  They would dream of a beautiful woman looking down on them smiling over her valley.